Category: UTSP: Untold Stories Post

UTSP has all short Life Event Stories form my life under the tag of #utsp

Untold Stories 65 : Searching Jobs Part 1 India

 

Completed the last question of Last exam of my Engineering Examinations and I thought Its finally Over. The results were out
in couple of months and I finally Became ‘an’ ENGINEER. I was so happy that the whole pain of ups and downs of life have completed now. Now I will get a Job and “SETTLE” in life. The fact I did not realize that Along with me almost 3000 other Engineers passed from my college itself.
This is Google Statistic which scared me that there are 1511 Engineering Colleges in India which results in production of 1 Million Engineering Pass Out every year in India itself. The statics of being just the one in 1 Million started a fear in my understanding of the system of Job Selection.

Dose all the companies in the India have the capacity to absorb 1 million engineers per year? Dose even 1 million people Retire or get fired per year? and most important one… Will I get a Job in Intake this year?

There is a stupid system in India for Job Intake during study period called “Campusing.” I am calling it stupid because some how all students assume that its University’s responsibility to provide the students with a JOB after completion of Engineering. They get angry on Management if they fail to get a job or speaking in their terms “if college fails to provide them with a job”.
Out of 3000 students passed in my college and average top bar is calculated and only those who score a minimum percentile above the top mark set for every year get a chance to sit in the job application process of Campusing. My heart pounded that My percentile score just touched the minimum bar and finally I was happy that I would be able to appear in the selection process.
Further an aptitude test was taken for each company. They questions were mix of both eazy and difficult one, thus you yourself cannot be 100% sure that you are selected in or not. So unfortunately I was not selected in any of the Rounds of INTERVIEW which is the next process.
My race to compete with the 3000 and 1 million felt halted on the 2nd step of the interview itself. Then its sad to say but I joined the team of students who blamed college to be responsible for me not having any job (must be my lack of understanding the system or amateurishness).

Out of the campusing rounds takes engineers on some of the pre calculated path. One to study Masters or Search for local Jobs which are no way related to our field of study.
Studing Masters with own money is expensive than that of Engineering Itself thus people often appear an examination called “GATE” which is elaborated as Graduate Aptitude Test in Engineering. If a person qualifies this exam he/she is enable to get minimum 8 to 11,000 Rs per month. Dropped out of the Camusing expectation Salary of 30 to 40,000 the new amount 11,000 still feels better than sitting at home and Being a MOOCHER.

Again referring to Google statistic on 2014 roughly 10,33,625 candidates appeared in the examination. This number is a sum of students appearing this year, reappearing this year and pre appearing this year for section process of that particular year. Its is again astonishing to note that only 16.84% qualified the Gate Examination. That indirectly means 100-16.84= 83.16% of students are incompitatnt according to GATE and are not selected.
Somehow this time I felt ashamed of being in Majority of the Group. As one door was closed the only known other door remained for me was to go and approach other agencies to find a job not related to my field but at least giving some money inside the pocket.
The first two agencies had job vacancy for a Call Center to be a Sales Representative.

The shame of taking money for parents every month even after Graduating was increasing month after month so as the frustration inside. With an unfocused mind and tornado of emotions its really difficult to take the right decision. So I am not sure the next thing I did was right or not.
I approached the advertised job agencies which welcomed me and asked me basic questions. I was happy to, though private but I am attending an Interview with HR. I answered the basic questions like “Tell me about yourself” “Why did you want to join this job” and any tasked based question like “Sell me this Pen”
The same evening I got a call form both the agencies I approached. They said “YOU ARE SELECTED” and made into first round of the selection process. The next round involves attending more real interviews and we will give you the links of all interviews if you deposit 500RS on our account.
My reaction to this statement were mixed as after completing the Engineering this was the first person who said “Yes I am selected” but hearing the remaining terms and conditions and about the 500rs to deposit. It felt like I am a Customer to Job agency. To test this theory I avoided their offer for few days and they kept calling me to deposit 500rs so that I could appear for real interview.
When I thought if Engineering Students are a Customer to this agency then I must completely know What I am buying?
Thus I asked for the first time boldly that what are the futher outcomes and when will I start working and earning money and if there is anymore hidden fees like the 500Rs you are asking me to deposit now. Where as in Job search we apply to get money not pay them.

Both agencies explained me their way of handeling the situation further. 1st agency said, after your deposition of 500rs we will groom you and send you to interviews of companies. Animals needed Grooming, I dint know in these days Humans do too. Further If you are selected there you will deposit your two month salary to us which will be in range of 5 to 8000 Rs. per month and then on you can have your salary deposited in your account directly.
The other agency offered me the similar procedure except the two months cut, they wanted 20% of my salary for the whole tenure I am working with that company selected by them.

I was already compromising form Joining to an Engineering Job to Joining a Call Center And Now top of that I had to sacrifice the amount of Pay which I didn’t even earn till now. Thus I am not sure I did right or not by taking this decision but I refused to both the offers presented to me and applied my energy and time in search of other options rather than the two “pre-definnd” paths called Masters or Job.
I knew that If I try enough I will find a way or an option which is the Road not taken by Engineers and finally I found something.

#tapishdongre #utsp
(As the matter was lengthy, this is first time I divided my post into parts. The next post will be made Monday 5th Sep. Sorry to keep you waiting, Enjoy your week ahead)

Untold Stories Post 64: Biographies

 

Someday on July 2012, I was sitting with my parents on the “Ghost House” (16th Samta Layout North Amabjhari Road Nagpur India). I call it Ghost House both because Grandpa and Grandma Died there as well as the physical and philological environmental condition of that house is just like only “GHOSTS” wants to live there.
I started with a conversation “Why all the example we ever talk of people are so negative, Either they are failed in life or Dint make it or stuck in some part?” “Why there no positive stories of people in our family or surrounding who actually made a difference? Live their life big?”

The Negative thought analization might be because I might have recently watched the documentary by Ronda Byrne The Secret and
seriously wanted to keep the garbage of negative thought and examples out of my life at that time. May be I was venerable or lost what to do next and all what I was loaded with was examples of failures.

My mom and Dad came with some examples for the people who could achieve some position in life but being in a middle class society of India, I could see less praise and more of Jealousness in the stories I absorbed that day. May be lets accept we all do that at some part of our life. Comparing our current position with others and being happy or sad over it…

Years later and some months before in the present timeline Kritika Zariya (https://www.facebook.com/angel.kritika.391) contacted me asking me guidance what pathway to chooze after completing 10th. “I would like to follow you” she said. Should she choose Biology or Mathematics.
At that point I was really not in right state to answer the question asked and accept Have I really reached that point that people can come to seek guidance from me? I modestly told her, I am still a student of life and yet did not discover my destiny.

On those days when I was at her position to choose from the carrier available, to avoid all failure and risk in carrier we had only two options, one to become and Engineer (which I did) and other to become a doctor which my sister Kritika Milind choose(Though she wanted to become an Animation Designer for a while).

All the examples except a Doctor or Engineer were neither exposed nor allowed to us at those time. But today the scenario is completely different. They have variety of Carrier to be choosing from. From animation designing to a gamer, for a sports person to a musician, from a Carpenter to Structural designer, From a local salesman to wholesale dealer, from Stalk trader to a Security Guard, from Fucking Saint to a Drug dealer you can and you are free to choose any Carrier in life you want.

That added more questions as Choosing Biology vs Mathematics was a difficult decision for me at time and how can anyone decide if we have multiple options to choose from. What if I choose the wrong carrier path?. As on those days we thought that that single decision to choose Biology or Mathematics will decide our carrier path. But truly speaking it ain’t true. Even after Completing a Degree or being mid way of a Carrier path in one direction you are free to choose and change your path. Or follow both if you like. It is well accepted now and only awaits you to accept that. One of my teacher said, “The only barriers holding you are the ones created by your own.”

And to really have the right motivation in life, or even to believe on the above point is right, the mind has to get familiar that this is possible. One of the way is by Reading BioGraphies. BioGraphies of famous and unfamous people. They tell us all possibility in life and timeline always brings us new possibilities.

In school we only learn The discovers of Electric Bulb, E=mc.c, Great painting by Picasso, but we are not exposed to did Edison ever fucked the wrong girl in life and how did he came out from that situation, Did Einstein ever had problem in reading things, Did Picasso had to choose form Biology or Mathematics and how did he came over that issue and chose Art?

Everyone though famous or unfamous has ups and downs in their life and reading Biography gives you a small hope that when he/she can get out of that situation, I am no one smaller that them, may be made to something Big and one day I will achieve it.

That small hope to accept all possibilities can lead you many undiscovered places. And one day you will stop comparing your story/success/carrier path with others because you will be happy and satisfied with the one you own yourself.

Just start your journey, And keep taking decisions according to time and situations…May be you are on the road not taken, May be you are the Discoverer

Have a happy Week Ahead 🙂
#tapishdongre #utsp

Untold Stories 63: Incident Report….!!!

 

It is unfortunate that I wast not able to watch the end scene for the movie Star Trek Beyond properly. Its not that the movie was not interesting or the Aircon of United Cinemas Eldorado was not working on Tuesday a fortnight ago, but, something more interesting happened in the theater that I had to pause the screening for a while and continue.

Me and my wife were having an argument of watching two movies in a row, own being the Star Trek who’s tickets I already bought and the next one was suppose to be “Lights OUT” just after the Star Treak.
Inside the theater towards the ending, instead of Lights OUT the Management has to switch the Lights of the theater. I dont know what really happened before this scene I am describing that lead to this scene but I saw two Grown ass fighting in the last row of Cinema. I was just 3 rows ahead of them.
It was not cat and mouse fight but like a real slam down. I would go to an entertainment center and pay to watch that fight kinda fight. The first guy blocked the second guy’s punch coming to his face and then in return gave 4 to 5 fist very fast on his stomach and lower abdomen. I thought the 1st guy had some lessons in Boxing to do that. But the second guy though not Asian took an martial art move. He used the blocking of the first punch as a place to hold grip, turned himself around the 1st guy after absorbing the 4 to 5 stomach punches from him and then wrapped himself around the 1st man’s neck. He locked his elbow to the 1st guy’s neck that the 1st guy could not move at all. I wish I would be judge of this fight but then someone form audience shouted “Someone please call Security”.

I repeated that dialogue on my head and the answer came, “Fuck !, I am the Security, though I am not on my job but Security was/is my profession.” I took my move toward’s the fight whereas I remember my wife stopping me not to. In that short duration and after watching their profession fight moves I have calculated that this fight is way way beyond my league. I was also taught in Ranvir Minhas and Sunny Minhas‘s Security Academy that do not touch a fight which is way beyond your capacity to handle and call for a backup. The backup was on their way but the fight had no full stop. I had the look around theater and many of the audience dint even bothered to get up from their seat.

I saw a small girl age 3 to 5 which seemed related to either the 1st or 2nd guy was walking towards the fight. I was sure of thought any of the guy’s in fight will not regret to hurt each other but if this girl gets any hurt either one of them will remember it for life. Or even I would have blamed myself for not saving her. I stepped my feet little faster and holed and picked up the girl walking towards the fight. I did not have the time to think the decision I did was right or wrong but it seemed justifying at that stage.

When Security Backup arrived and all lights were on, the 2nd guy finally removed his locking elbow. The first guy was now released and able to move. He along with a lady came near me to take the little girl, and left the theater.

I went back to my seat with my wife and she shouted, what are you are hero to go there and mess with that fight? I replied, I just went there to save a baby from getting hurt, no hero skills required there.
Actually at that particular time Even I had no idea why I put my step towards the fight. And to stop a fight?? Why would I stop a fight? I infact love Fights, its the only way to remove frustrations and form new bonds (if anyone lives from that battle).

After coming home and reanalyzing the situation I could only think, that there are several hundreds of fights going around us if we like to observe. People fight for home disputes, country border, religion, cast discrimination, race belonging, political disputes and many other day to day issues. Some of the fight might be eazy to tackle and some like the last one must be hard to stop by one person alone. But if the fights are giving people a point of interaction which they didn’t do before then I should not be the person to stop this fight. May be stopping these big fights are beyond my control. Then What will be my purpose? as even I don’t want to join any sides and join the fight itself. In the short instant of pressure the decision I made may be the one’s suited for me.

I don’t have power to stop the big fights, but I did have the power to stop the new generation, the small kids, to keep them away from the fights. Prevent them from getting hurt. It was easy. Small kids requires a story to understand the most complex situation in simple words and with the help of stories, storing telling my advantage point, I can keep the new born’s away from the fight so that when they grow old enough to understand, they will have power to decide themselves to continue their old generation fights or not…

I know currently you as reader might be in any one resemblance point of my story, you might be in the fight as 1st or 2nd guy fighting for justice, you might be the guy who call’s the security, you might be a observer who dont want to get up from their seat or you might the foolish person who gets up from his seat and stop the young one from entering the battle or you might be the young one’s yourself.

What ever the role you are playing just be reminded of the statement of Sir William Shakespeare ” All the world’s is a Stage and All men and woman merely Players.”

Enjoy your role and Keep Playing it..

#tapishdogre #utsp

Untold Stories Post 62: The Unavoidable Question?

 

Its 2016, we all know that.
The thing which we all doesn’t know is that in my 26 years of Life on planet earth, and After doing 18 Years of Education,
and even coming and Living on Australia for almost three years, People Still ask me “Mr Tapish Dongre what Caste Do you Belong?”
Probably running away or Avoiding this question is not possible I guess for now. Its high time I get prepared to answer this question.

On a recent chat with a ex fb friend Naina Deshkar, she asked me which Cast do I belong, and I effectively dogged the question like every educated person can do.
I said in 2016 who believes in Cast system? Then she went on asking a confirmative question mentioning a particular Cast or Tribe, Do I belong to this cast or not?
Initially it pissed me off and I just unfriended her. But this question again disturbed me for the whole week. It was unanswered as well as Unavoidable now.

I am a story teller and there are not much ways I could express my anger and frustrations except telling stories, may be someday some reader may understand my projectile.
But for now, Naina Deshkar, Allow me to screw you up and explain you the system I understood till now, but before that let me tell you two stories,
1) which is commonly heard
2) which I created to explain the situation further

On a lovely sunny day, Two cats were fighting for a loaf of Bread. The Monkey saw this from his tree and decided that I can
take advantage of this situation. He came in front of cats with a Beam Balance and then said, as you are already fighting on loaf of Bread, let me help you and using this Scale(Balance), I can distribute the Bread
equally among you two. The cats in anger couldn’t decide properly and trusted a third person “Monkey” to be Judge when actually his involvement was none.
Monkey purposely divided the Bread in to “UNEQUAL” parts. When he weigh the new slices on a scale he conclude that one piece is bigger than other thus to make it equal let me have a bite form the bigger piece.
Monkey again purposely took more bigger bite that he was suppose to make it equal, therefore the bigger bread piece became smaller compared to other and then monkey said, now the other piece is bigger than the first one
thus let me have a bite from the bigger piece so that it makes the scale equal for you too. Slowly Slowly using this trick Monkey ate all the Bread and Cats being angry on each other could not even Blame Monkey and have no Bread at all.

In my story most of you must have understood by now that the two cats are two greater division of Indian Society being Schedule cast on one side and General on other. The Bread is the Resources (Jobs, education, Infrastructure, Living Commodities).
And we fail to recognize Monkey the friend of both Cats is the GOVERNMENT we respectfully support.

My second story continues with the first one.
On a lovely Sunny Day, Generations ahead form the first story, all the Cats were getting smarter by understanding the Monkey’s trick and getting mixed so that in future Monkey dose not eat the bread like last time. The only difference was internally the Cats really wanted to fight on the Loaf of First Bread that the two cats
were fighting on the first story. Group of Cats even declared the first fighting cat as LEGEND and started to pray on his photos and started building statues of first fighting cat. On a particular day of the year they even started celebrating the “Legend cat’s” birthday and death day. Burning candles on Street, Celebrating with joy and sadness on particular day.
Do you think Generations of Monkey were not smart enough? The first monkey trained his son, and he trained his son and Generations of Money belonging to same species trained each other that how can still we benefit on current bread as well as let the Cats forget about who actually Ate the first Bread.
The monkeys sometimes supported one kinda cats in speech and also funded the other type of cats. Monkeys also showed the respect for the Cat Legend and started constructing more of his statues and allowed other cats to follow his memorial birthdays and death days.
Monkeys modified the “Legend Cat’s” initial plan constructed a system where there will be direct or indirect inequality and the Cats would keep fighting with each other and generations of Monkeys will benefit from this system. Some cats wanted to stay out of this generations of Cat fight and even tried to avoid this mess. But the devotional cats usually use to convince the free educated cats to come and join their battle.
Educated cats now use to fight more effectively than the uneducated on, Ohh sorry let me rephrase Literate cats use to fight more effectively than the illiterate one. You know on a Wednesday 27th July 2016, one of the Legend follower cat asked the free cat, which side of the fight dose the free cat belong? In frustration the Free cat wrote the story of Cats again 🙂 lol

I sometimes wish I could change the situation but most of time I stay away for the “Cat Fight” but even to stay away I had to learn and understand about both the cats and their current situation.
Studying in Co-Education I never had to face Caste-sim similarly even staying in Australia for 3 years I never faced Racism. But if a cat from India persist me answer a question which Cat Community I belong so Today I have an answer.

Initially I thought the Cast division system is limited to Hindu Society as for which one of the creation is started to believe with the books classifying Varna System. Then I discover that there is Schedule Cast and Schedule Tribes in Christianity too.
As per my knowledge I might be wrong but most of religion of India have their own division of labor system which divides the Society and even permits a human to look down on other.
A person just born in a particular cast can either feel proud to be in the cast if he/she is higher to the hierachy system and also for his whole lifetime looked down and feel pity or ashamed if he/she belong to a lower cast in the Hierarchy.

We all know the Legendary Cat Dr. B.R Ambedkar on 13th October 1935 was popularized to have started wast campaigning Against the Cast system in India and many might have feel supported or offended on the speech where he speaks “I deny to follow a Hindu religion which treats me by any circumstance lower to other human being.”

I am not a fan or a follower of the Legendary cat as there is lot of change in the system since 1935 to 2016.
But as its is asked so I would like to reply to a Legendary Cat followerNaina Deshkar‘s question in her own Legendary Cat’s style that: I deny to follow and accept any fucking religion which treats one human upper or lower in socialistic placement over other.
As of today 31st July 2016 on my full understanding of consequences that will be followed I want to clear that I belong to No Cast nor any Religion. I am happy to live without them.

‪#‎tapishdongre‬ ‪#‎utsp‬

Untold Story Post 61: The Sitting Position

 

It was winter of 2011 in India when me Akshay Korkalai and Gaurav Pendke went on a trip to Delhi from Nagpur Maharashtra. I remember that year because I graduated that year and on that Particular travel we all three missed our Graduation Party. As the Railway was fully booked to plan of our sudden trip we could only manage to get “Waiting” ticket on the train.
Waiting tickets on Indian Train are/were permission to enter into Reservation Compartment of the Train system but only seats were not allotted till someone else cancels or dose not make up to the journey. It was an 8+ hours of night journey Thus we all three decided to sleep on floor and therefore took bed-sheet with us. Before the trip as usual our fortune teller of group Gaurav Pendke foretasted that the trip would be worth less as the number of people travelling is “THREE” and there is a saying in hindi “teen tigada kam bigada” which poorly translates to if there are three people on one job the job is going to be messed up.

The journey started and we were prepared not to get any seats thus we all were wearing our old T-shirts which we did not care even if it gets dirty. Old Jeans and Paijama’s were complimentary for the same reason.

On the start of our Journey we met a Guy who was taking same journey as us. But fair to mention here his dressing sense was little more posh than us. He was wearing a Brand new looking T-shirt and Jacket and Matching Jeans which we don’t even think of wearing on a travel. I told him that we are going to sleep on floor and we have extra bed sheets if he would like to join the adventure. He smartly refused the offer and I trust Akshay’s word on it that this guy stayed all night sitting on corner of someone’s seat rather than comfortably sleeping of floor. May be to him Pride was more important than Comfort. And I thought that day, if I have not joined the self named “Stifflers” group, I would be that Guy. That person though now looks stupid from my point of view according to the decision he is making, was me if I was not as casual As I was that day. I just thought again “I was that person some days ago”

Two Years passed and I got ready to take my first flight to Australia. I only lived with variety of Indian’s thus was not exposed to foreign culture or people all my life. Thus I decided to present myself best of I can. I wore brand new clothes and a leather Jacket which is still with me for some reason. My pants were neatly Ironed. I maintained my etiquette the best as I could. Our plane had waiting of 2 hours before the flight. And for the first time my eagerness pulled me 3 hours ahead to be on the airport. I was probably the one of the first 3 person to enter the Waiting room. As the time passed The waiting room got completely filled with passenger travelling abroad. I was keeping an eye on their style and presentations of walking in and getting comfortable in an Waiting Room. I was shy and did not talk with anyone when I started this journey. About 30 minutes prior to boarding the flight the room was full and then entered a group of Spanish/German Girls and they saw there was no place to grab a seat thus they formed a circle to talk and sat on Airport Carpet. They did not hesitate in taking this decision and then I re-thought at that moment…Why I am doing such a show off. Why so much pressure on presentation. I know self presentation on special occasion is Good but I like to be simple from inside which I was not at that time.
Looking at bunch of people sitting on floor I just thought again “I was that person some days ago”

‪#‎tapishdongre‬ ‪#‎utsp‬

Untold Stories Post 60: Accidental Pinch !!!

 

Brain is very strange organ, lot of memories you thought you lost but on a favorable repetitive environment or a parallel situation, the memories comes back in an instant. Mostly my technique is to relate a memories to an emotion and you can remember it forever. But some part of my brain have non emotional saved memories when now can be analysed fresh when loaded to current living. Thus this happened in a fraction of second..and that fraction of second was so important that I could not resist in sharing it..

My recent work as a team member in a buzy American Chain of Restro dose not allow me to sit ideal for long time as I use to do in my previous job as Security. As I enjoy the work mostly now…time for creative writing and possible fiction is getting less and less thus one day when I was lifting a loaded box about 10kg, The freezer door of my workplace coming in contact with the box creating an accidental pinch on my right hand. The pain came in an instant and stayed till an hour or so.. But in that short instant I was reminded of a memories from my school.

My mathematics teacher from Grade 9 to 11, Mr Srisailam Navuluri Sir was definitely the greatest teacher I could ever had, because if I deny that fact I would never have made it through my four years of Engineering, which I did and for that subject I am thankful to him.

The accidental pinch loaded me with a memory that Everyone in class use to be afraid of him for some reason. When communicated with some of my classmates they recalled the same thing which I did in that instant. “The Brutal Bruse Marks of PINCHES.”
Along with Excellent teaching skills he had a bad habit to give physical punishment to school children by pinching them on their arms near the soft tissue. The pinch was both painful and use to leave marks for days.
Being afraid from the bruse marks and pain most of student use to complete their “Home-Work”
He also use to beat children when not paying attention in class. I remember Mr Kartik Manoharan in his school days was beaten up with a wooden duster on his head several times just because of a silly reason that he did not bring bookmark and was looking at his desk thinking something else instead of concentrating on Black Board.

On those days even taking this point to Principal or Home was worthless as “Punishment in teaching’ was an acceptable offence on those days. Even parents use to give examples of their teachers being very strict and beating them up in their school days with a cane stick.

Though I am grateful for Mr Srisailam Navuluri‘s teaching and I could not express my feelings at childhood or at an age or time when Physical abuse was appreciated by teacher’s on student, I would just like to make my point clear. I might have to go over my liberty of expression of words for explaining how I feel, but

“In future, if my yet born child gets an teacher like Srisailam Navuluri and He/She gets a pinch mark from any of his teacher, I will make sure I will find the person, reach up to his house and Put a Shovel on his Ass so that he remembers the pain for his life before pinching or causing any harm to any children ever coming to his surrounding.”

‪#‎tapishdongre‬ ‪#‎utsp‬

Untold Stories Post 59: Pocket Money

 

Stepping into teenage is amazing time of life, we have more “friends” which we think we really need. Get exposed to various true stories which were alien when we were sitting at home. And now due to technological upgrade, even get exposed to so much fiction facts and concepts which had hold no meaning to us before.

The concept of Pocket money came to me when I was teenage and just started to learn the concept of Money (as it the theory was not enough).
I grew in a family surrounding where My parents and Sibling were enough to be support of each other and thus everything we needed at early age was provided the time even before the demands. Let that be a delicious food item or a fancy game, demands were fulfilled by the household though sometime taking longer than expected time but things were in house when we needed it.
With new “friends” or I can truly use the word “School Mates” the new concepts were introduced to me and one such top in my mind is Pocket money.
My mates at school who had both working Parents use to give them a sum of money every month or some cases every week. My friends explained me all the benefits of having a Pocket Money. Money that is “yours”, You can spend it all with your “will”, You could save more and buy the food you desire, the games you wish, the clothes you admire and wish you had them.
The concept which initially look foreign attracted to me the most when I discovered its very common among most of my friends. Someday’s later I found out I was the only “different” child who not use to get Pocket Money.
The the demand came as urgency and I asked my parents to provide me with the Pocket money. The Idea was like a little foolish technique for my parents but they anyway accepted my demand and started giving me 10Rs a month. I was happy to get every month 10Rs. The amount 10Rs might seem very small but at teenage in 2003 to 2005 seemed a big deal to me.
I kept collecting the money until it became first 100 then 300, but unfortunately I did not know where to spend the money?

All the exciting things which my friends at that time suggested me I can wish to buy with that money were already present at my home. Thus the concept of “Pocket Money” might not be my cup of tea. (I was a boost drinker at that time….lol)

That time I was not enough matured to analyze the concepts which even I needed in my life or not. Thus anything new and exciting I wanted to install in my living. I wish I can say that I learned the big lesson and moved on, but I did not. I kept repeating same mistakes with now accepting different concepts in life.

In 2013 I came to Australia and now with my University Mates I came to know the concept of “Open Relationship”
In open relationship, you could be married to one person or be in realtionship to one person and with this you are free to get physical or emotionally involved with other persons.
I thought This is an awesome concept, “Open Relationship”
I can have my partner and also enjoy the benefit of having multiple partners. I knew If I would have tried hard enough I could have convinced my partner to accept the new Concept but in doing so…and accepting the law of Equilibrium or equality that would mean I would allow my partner to be in open Relationship too…
And I hate to share my objective “things” so sharing a relationship with anyone was out of Question. Thus the concept of “Open Relationship” how so ever tempting it is, its still not my cup of tea. (I am still a Boost drinker I guess…he he)
So I choose to stick with Monogamy which suited my style of living.

I wish we could all stop the story here….but I took my mistakes a step further…
Getting attracted to various Cultures was the new addiction I had, I tried various living styles, from accepting martial art and learning minimal style of living to going busking on Brisbane streets with friends and trying to blend in…I tried to live extreme ends of living and install it to my living. And recently discovered I am little stingy, little Greedy and of over spending mentally to the things I like, thus none of the pre-defined living traditions matched or satisfied me. Thus finally I decided to accept “my way” how so ever stupid it might be but I will follow My own way of living.

On this post I wont demoralize people to follow any new concept or go with the traditional one. I would just urge every living creature to have the courage to make some mistakes. Try some and discover your own way of living which suits you the best. It may may not match mine or any living tradition in history but if it satisfies you..Go for IT….Live THAT LIFE

If our paths crossed, will see you with a big smile
Till then Happy Day Have a Happy life ahead..

‪#‎tapishdongre‬ ‪#‎utsp‬

Untold Stories Post 58: Sour Grapes (The latest Version)

 

Ohh Feels so good to be able to find time to write again,

You must have heard the story of Fox and the Sour Grape. Where A fox (technically a wild non-vegetarian animal) craves Grapes (a vegetarian diet) and jumps and jumps on the farm but his height was not enough to reach the top of farm where grapes are hanging
Thus concluded and gives Self satisfaction that Grapes are Sour and leaves the Farm.

When I was child I never had question why a non-vegetarian animal would crave for the vegetarian diet. It dint matter as that
was not the actual message of the story. The story wanted to convey that how we fail in life and situation and Blame the situation
for not “TRYING ENOUGH”.

The New version of this story is little general and indeed complex to understand.

I got a free laptop in Kerbside Collection. In Brisbane Australia a Kerbside collection is organised by Brisbane Council once a year per subberb to dispose the Electronic, Furniture, and other big Items which could not be dumped in a Dustbin. And Cheap people like me 😉 put fuel in 2nd hand Car and Run on a Treasure hunt on that particular day. Thus I found a laptop which had No operating System on a Kerbside Collection Day of Toowong Brisbane. I dint realize after repairing and constantly using the system
I started complaining about the Laptop to my mates.
I kept telling them stories of how I recovered the laptop but the Laptop is working too Slow. It is piece of shit. Takes hours to start and open app.
The laptop thought not bought by me received so much criticism than it might have received by its original owner who kept it out for Kerbside Collection in the first place.

Thus one day when I was in phone call with my mate Ravi Kiran from Melbourne, Victoria Australia, Guess what, I told him the story of Crappy Laptop too.
His reply was “have you every gone to Vegetable Market and before buying grapes you taste one of the bunch? It felt so sweet right? And the same bunch of Grapes when you bought them in Kg and yes Paid for them, after coming home the same bunch of Grapes taste sour in your house.”
I said…Yes it had happen many a times.
Then he continued, “its not the Grapes which had become sour, its your mentality towards the Grapes. You tasted a Free Grape and you liked it, just the same way you got the Kerbside Laptop
When you paid and brought the Grapes home, in your case Invested the Time and Skills on the Repair of the Laptop. The grapes started to taste sour, i.e the Laptop which was paid by your time and skills started to be boring, slow and worth less. It was Free on the first place.”

I was again wondering, yes the problem is being pointed out but what about the solution, what to do with the laptop now?
And answer again Lied in the Sour Grapes Story. Either You Throw away the Sour Grapes you Bought from Vegetable Market or you eat them by having the knowledge that You paid for them.
And the day you open your fridge and have a thought to start to through the Sour Grapes into Rubbish bin, The Grapes becomes Sweet again.

Complicated stuff ha…

Keep thinking
Have a Nice Day ahead..

‪#‎tapishdongre‬ ‪#‎utsp‬

Untold Stories 57: The First Suicide

 

At an very early age, I would say the first suicide experience is when you hear the word first time and search in dictionary searching for the meaning of it
It was the similar but somehow I knew the meaning before the incident had an impact.

I never knew her name, why you ask? Because in south Indian locality where I grew up it was most offensive to even approach a stranger teenage girl and I was shy as well.
Me and My friend Ravi Kiran at Class IXth had a regular weekly chess match at Junior Club Ordnance Factory Project Medak Yeddumailaram AP, INDIA. We completed a game and mostly Ravi use to win the match
and if at I won the game there was at least two times re-match before he is satisfied that he is best at Chess. It was more of re-assurance for him I guess and I use to play again to sharpen my skills and have the chance of enjoying the frustration on his face again.
And that day he did loose and wanted a re-match but senior players(senior by age) took the chess board away form us and we had no choice but to leave the Club as we know their game will run for hours and its late for us to take our bicycles home.
We came out of the Club and outside was a kids playground. On the playground we saw her first time on a Swing seat. She was wearing Blue Frock tired hairs towards her back, Spectacles on her nose. I asked Ravi Check the girl at your 9 O’Clock. A direction code which simply meant look on your left and check out the girl.
But before I said so I saw Ravi’s eyes was already sticked on her as her eyes saw him back giving a smile.

At that instance I observed I was already walking two-three steps away form Ravi though we were walking on the same direction. I realized on that moment that I had lost my friend for now. There will be no more chess matches but regular visits to Junior Club will not stop. And same did happen. We visited the same Club almost everyday now. I waited in line to get an Ice-Cream whereas Ravi waited outside to have a glimpse of her. As we both did not know the name of her, I called her “Chashmis” a teaser name meaning the girl with Glasses on her eyes.
We arrived on Club as that was the only source where we could see her again. Our wait was over when she was seen again after a week of time and then on every week.
We use to go home only when she left the Club. This might seem little purvey but once we even followed her in shadows to know her home address. Though now we know where she lived but we still agreed to follow the common courtesy to see her only at Club.
Weeks passed and I urged Ravi, just go and talk to her, or should I do that job for you? Finally Ravi agreed that He will go and talk to her the next week.

The day arrived that when Ravi will finally go and talk to her, the day when I will know her Real Name and stop calling her Chashmis. The day when I get a confirmation that after weeks of struggle my mate finally have a girlfriend or a girl-friend at least. We went early to Club and waited and waited and waited.
I remember it started getting dark and still we waited outside in Cold. I had three Ice Creams that day and Ravi paid the 15Rs for them as it was his treat. Unfortunately our wait never ended, she did not show up.

I said, “no worries dude we will catch her up either when she is going out for tutions form her home or school”, I thought she might be sick that she did’t show up for today and I might be fool to eat 3 Ice Creams when winter is starting already. Its too late lets go home.

The next week I heard a funny story form him that Chasmis was practicing a dance of movie name “Varsham” which means Rain in Telugu Language and to do that she actually filled her room with water to get the leg beating noise of ‘Rain Splash’ and in doing so actually slipped and broke her ankle. Whereas in the actual movie the actress girl dances on Rain water shouting “Nuvvu Vosta ante nen Voddatantana?”
We laughed so hard that I even forgot ask how did he even managed to get this information?

Some week passed and the winter came and we nearly stopped our visits to the Junior Club. There was no motive anyway.
I still don’t know the Source of Ravi’s information but one very late night Ravi came to my house and urged that we talk outside. I took my bycycle and we rushed on a Route towards his home. On the mid way when he was too silent I wonder what surprise he had in his mind to give me this late night.
His words were more cold that the winter saying “Chashmis is Dead”
The government Mortuary was just next to were we were discussing this and I thought Ravi is playing another prank on me
But he was serious this time, He said, she committed Suicide as she got less marks in her pre-finals.

I replied she was not even doing her 10th Board that she had to take a harsh decision like this.(as if if it was 10th exam the Suicide was justified). Ravi said, Yes mate, but first girl I like in this life is Gone even before she knew that I liked her, and we will never even know her name.
I was a class 9th boy and had no clue how to console my friend as I was shocked myself, thus we just discussed the political issues that by what pressure of our society that a child had to commit Suicide. Exams can come and Go but life is just one way track…
We both parted in grief after a long discussion and for weeks everyone was Discussing about the “Girl who Committed Suicide Due to Exam Pressure” on Ordnance Factory Medak.

For some days the Intense Exam Pressure was waved off and Parents cared more of their son’s and daughters life than their marks on ScoreCard. But after some days we all forgot the story of the girl in Blue Frock, Ravi’s first heartbreak and the First Suicide case of my life. My political side of brain was thinking that there is at lest one benefit of her suicide that we don’t have the marks pressure anymore.

But later on after years passed and I was urged of committing the Suicide myself, not because of some marks but a different level of teenage pressure which seemed important that time and stupid at this stage of life. In around year 2009 I took a chemical name “Sodium Azide” form the Biotech Lab I was studding in, mixed it in milk and drank the first morning I wanted to depart the world.
It might be the poor quality of PIET Chemicals or Dilution by milk that I survived but If I haven’t experienced the life till date I could never realized how Stupid was the decision of taking an early termination from life.

Most of my positive post today might be a partial outcome of the shame I had after recovering of the worst times faced in life. I must not compare my life with someone and thus someone must not compare his/her life with me. I neither Support Suicide and Unfortunately not truly against it but its ‘you’ that who have to take the decision as a Choice to Live Everyday and Day after day. And if you choose “Life” instead of death things changes and chances comes along your path, you may never know how interesting it gets when the future unfolds…
So if you have decieded to “Live” this day, this week or this year for now….Lets make it interesting, enjoy to the fullest, make a remark in History and Some-Day die an un-regretful Sign off…..(I Hope and wish my best not by Suicide!!!!)

Have a wonderful Living week Ahead !!!!

‪#‎tapishdongre‬ ‪#‎utsp‬

Untold Stories Post 56 : Watching Ants

 

This post is not an usual appreciation of ants telling you all the fact that
amazes you like ant can carry things more than that of their weights, its lifespan is about 4 to 12 years or
ant uses very high sensitive communicative method or ant is so organised and
bla bla bla..

The more focus I would like to divert in this post is about actually observing ants.

Throughout my childhood after learning lot of amazing facts about the species “Formicidae” commonly known as ants I was very happy and enthusiastic to actually watch something from my stupid boring school book into actual life. This might sound idiotic but I could stare ants for hours together.
This must be waste of my childhood time which could be well spent on plying with friends or learning something good but I was spending more and more ideal time to watch where dose the ant come from? Where dose it Go? The white babies of ant, why there is need to carry them form one place to another? Did someone
break their house? I wish even I knew the inter-species communication so that even some day I could actually know that what did one ant say to the other ant? Or what
does they talk about when every ant stops in a row, tell something then move forward? Do they think we humans are friendly or they are scared with the Giant Species in size
compared to them? Do they ever make Jokes about Humans? And should I even be offended if they make jokes on us?

Several questions run in my mind with many possible correct assumptive answers which today may or may not be so important.
The important thing was as a child and growing kid the more pain I got by travelling throughout India in school age by getting away from all newly formed friends every three years, The ants were there everywhere to cheer me up and entertain me in my growing time.
And the ants reminded me that though friends come and go, but the hardworking and efficient ants are always there in every part India and connection with them will never fade like disappearing friends. I was so amazed that though inter-species communication was not yet established
I am enough fortunate to observe ants and their behavior throughout India is same. They search for food, collect them and in line go back to their respective houses.

After childhood there came teenage and I got busy with the human-relationship understating phase. Friends got closer, parents seemed strange, anger frustration which never haunted me in childhood were the dominant phase in every rain.
Love, fights, togetherness, politics, grouping, religion and even watching the television news was an factor of interest and the observation of ants was no amusement to me. I also started thinking, how so stupid I was in childhood that
I use to observe ants, and I cant believe that watching ants was my favorite pass time.

When even teenage was almost over and I bounced to Australia to struggle for my carrier, I was amazed that more pressure of self learning and self survival haunted me every day. I almost forgot that even If I could have seen ants they could have reminded me that like
every species humans also have to work in organised patter, communicate, carry thoughts and understanding so much heavier than that of their weight and have courage to forgive and move on in life. But unfortunately for first two and half years of my life, I was never able to
see ants in my surrounding. I mostly lived in posh area of Brisbane, Mostly in 2nd or 3rd floor houses which are well equipped and architecture that though Maggot were easily found in our dustbin if remained unclean, the most popular species of India the Ant was no-where seen.

After 2 and half years of living in Australia when I moved in a Ground Floor house in Toowong, Queensland Australia, I was able to observe the ants for the first time stealing food form our kitchen.
Inst-ed of getting angry on them, I was happy that even today when Lot of friends have come and gone in my life. Lot of small time failures and achievement success is gained in my early carrier start, the Ants are still hear doing their job, perfectly and exactly as they were doing it in India.

In any story we can only connect the dots backwards. Thus some of the question (this time logical) rises in my mind. Why did I was not able to see ants in first some years of staying in Australia?
The two possible answers were either I was staying in 1st or 2nd floor houses in Australia but in India due to my dad’s choice of living we only took Ground Houses to live where ever we travel in India. Or I must be living in a high standard society in Australia where paying the bills to maintain my life standard was the only task I was focusing on.
Either ways the smaller in size ants completely disappeared form my observation though they were always present around me.

After paying more attention I realized may be this is what happens when we grow up, the small amusement of childhood vanishes in time and looks silly but the silly things called “worries” which were never a part of life when we were small seems so important now. And overall we even support those worries with understanding that we are more matured and responsible creatures now.
Concluding my post today I would not suggest you to be like ant as they are doing their work sincerely and we should do ours but I would just again focus on point of observation that when Time, Age, Geographical Location and relationship understanding is changed it actually affects our FIELD OF OBSERVATION.
The always present ANTS may seem to disappear…..

Cheers Everyone, Find your ants and have a wonderful weekend

‪#‎tapishdongre‬ ‪#‎utsp‬