YULM Chapter 6


Six years after I was born, my mother got pregnant again. I don’t need to tell you what it feels in a kid’s mind about thinking of someone is coming in-to your family and might take all the place in your parents life what you had till this time.

Every day till nine months from then, it’s all the talk about a new baby coming to your life. Whatever you do seems nothing new to your parents except for the thought that the new baby is going to change your life. You need to be strong/responsible/caring/and all other stuff which you never wanted to be… So in frustration I said to my mom, “I want only a Baby Girl and not a boy. And that too she must be white in colour. If not, I will not love her..!”

Indeed after nine months I had a baby sister who was snow white when I holed her for the first time and she squeezed my finger in a tight grip as if she knows who I am….and for the fact that I love her or not…you must consult my sister not me….

Readers must be wondering how all of a sudden this story of past came in between the pages of YULM Chapter 6. But telling you the truth, this was the same way I discovered it in my life’s journey when I was with Snigdha Gupta. I never knew that my one childish dialogue I spoke, when I was of only 6 years of age is going to bite my ass after 11 years of the incident.

So as Snigdha and I talked more and more with each other, we got to know more and more about each other. And one day I told her the story of how my sister was born. That day and the next very very days got a new turn in my brain about my present life. When she heard my part of story, instead of enjoying how good it feels to have a sister in my arms holding for the first time. She complained, “In past you said you need a white skin colour girl or else you won’t love her. And now your love changes form a white colour girl to a black one. What was that??? What is the guarantee that again it won’t change from Black to White? What will I do then??” and stupid tears in her eyes followed…

Actually What Was THAT..? How about a childish comment I made in my past look cute when I was 6 and sucks when I have crossed 16…

I don’t have that view of thinking now and never had an idea that she feels inferior of her skin colour. Actually till that time I didn’t even noticed what her skin colour was. I was so deep in her love that I only loved her presence around me.

Though I had run all these facts in my mind but never did I expressed the level of maturity what she expected from me. I love being kiddo. And that day I reacted the same way. Instead of trying to support her, I gave her a new name, “KALVI” meaning Black Bee… A cute ‘fly’ of my imagination which is needed as an important element in nature so that every flower sprouts a fruit and gets its purpose of living….

I do realize it looks silly form present point view, But it was really fun teasing her by the fences she made in her own mind. I don’t really know what she had interpreted by the nick name I gave her, but it was fun when she got angry on the name “Kalvi” whenever I called her by that.

This idea was stupid but worked out. She left crying or questioning me about my interest in her skin colour or my idea of hypothetically changing my attraction form a Cute and Beautiful Black girl to a Horney white bitch of her imagination. And we enjoyed a happy stay after that….

Only of one fact being unknown to me that I had hurt her inside…



YULM Chapter 5


Time looks great when you are running a smiley life and second by second tickles when it had to go the other way…..

First days with her were great and I imagined the whole life out of it. Two perfect kids. A boy and A girl, Yet I didn’t think of their names but I figured out how cute they looked one on her and one on my hand…

“I will not have sex with you, not now Not Ever”

It was a kind of dialogue which broken up almost all of my futuristic plans. But why the hell I asked her that question. I know I don’t wanted to but asking your girl for a kiss is more difficult than proposing her itself. (A person should never ask any girl for a kiss. Just Do It. This I realized very late by then)

Through my Imaginations it got into a big quarrel with me and her. And as we say, “Thoughts Become Things”

And the argument/ discussion/ whatever you say stated on fire.

“I didn’t mean to have sex with you now but I don’t want to lose the hope that it will never happen.” I said.

From a kiss urge it started to futuristic argument with no clue how.??!

“If you want we will adopt the babies you need. I am not going through all the pain just to create babies for you and I hate the imagination of having sex at all.” was the instant reply.

She even joked, “If you want you can have maids to create babies for you”

A boy hates jokes when he is seriously involve in any discussion how so stupid it may be. When will girls understand this fact?

I don’t remember when was our first argument stated and on what topic, But I do remember this gave us new ideas of each other.

From “I like everything in you.” It went “Your dressing sense is odd, what kind of friends you are with, why you do such things I don’t like you doing all this. Tapish, you have made my expectations down.” Girls I don’t know how frequently change appreciation to criticism.

At last we got angry on each other and then stopped talking with each other.

This was the time where every second counted, as if clock has stated working slowly, Tick Tock Tick Tock every second I felt something missing out of my life.

Is this Love???

Is this the feeling what every boy and girl in love feel about.???

Though quarrelling and fighting over one other but still feel like keep arguing every day, every hour and every second….

Is this Love….

And heart said, “Yes It Is.”

I moved my legs towards the landline telephone kept on white table in my drawing room and it started ringing before I could touch the receiver. When I picked up the call and said “Hello!”

“I LOVE YOU” was the reply of the only voice I wanted to hear over now in a weepy voice.


YULM Chapter 4

Love makes life Beautiful….nice lyrics to sing a song…

Love – Attraction – Infatuation – Lust – Sex – Emotions…….these are the words hit on your personal dairy page one day after the other when you are in actual super creative game called “Life”

The days passed on very quickly when you spent time with the one you love. Sometimes hiding from parents and friends to spent time together and sometimes sitting in an idle pace having virtual conversations in our imagination even when your partner is not in front of you. This in turn increased the telephone bills to four fold and again makes our parents to put a caller id and regular check on bills to where the calling goes….

 The fact that we are never satisfied with our partner is because we always want to explore more and more of each other, with each other and for each other. This happened with me and this happens to every teen age boy who is normal. The first time I lost my focus was when she was teaching me some kind of biology lectures on the flowering plants (stupid hermaphrodites) and instead of checking the words out of her mouth I only paid attention on her lips.

Are they soft?

Are they smooth?

What a perfect shape…

How they come in contact with each other..?

 These were the word explained about the flowering plant to me where as my mind was thinking the same what you might have thought about while reading the above lines.

I felt like what to say or what not to…!!! A hell of biology was entering my mind. It was all pre occupied with all devil thoughts and imagination of the slap I am going to get if I ask and the girl says no. In the game of ‘life’ I was playing a role of a decent, in discipline young boy. But my mind was all indiscipline.

Lot and lot of struggle went in my mind… (what I already told you) and finally I decided to tell her…and I said.

“I want to have sex with you”

No I probably didn’t say that. I said something like…

“I want to have a baby form you” and she was shocked.

“I mean I want to be father of our child not now but in the future” What foolish, stupid and unfocused was I to ask that. What I should have said is any simple romantic line to receive my first kiss.

My first kiss….(Ohhh that’s completely another story and with a very different unusual situation…I will tell that later….) So where was I …ya yes I explained her that I want to put a sweet baby on your tummy in future.

And she replied, “Not now and never I am going to have sex with you. Even after marriage you want kids we’ll adopt them”

Really Love makes life beautiful. But also makes complicated and more stressful to understand the conditions, This line is not written in any book or any literature…but true….!!!



YULM Chapter 3

“Ups and downs are the part of life and living happy in these ups and downs is the Art of life” –sri sri ravi shankara…

These kind of dialogue are been taught to a man when he is in his mid of journey to life and very close to death….But the fact is that more than this kinda stuff we learn at our school days itself..by self experience….

The girl you love or have an imagination that you are loving has expressed the same feelings to you. How do you think that day will go for you.?? Of course a ‘Happy’ should be a straight answer. But in real life the first dialogue of Sri Sri Sri Ravi Shankara happens to be true.

All these day…almost full year my mind went on thinking that how to propose her and now when I did and even she replied the same..My mind went blank..Now what? And they Happily Lived Ever After….!!! Sorry to admit you guys the story is mine and it had to go my way…

I use to get up early, Take bath every day (it sucks) and on my bicycle ride to school half an hour before to see the first sight of Snigdha entering form School gate and then spend at least 15 minutes of walk till cycle stand together. And form today the whole seen is subjected to change now. Now that the girl is mine I need not work hard for the stuff. This was the first day I reached Late to my school life..I had no plan to execute on what if the girl really replies to your proposal as “YES! I DO”

Somehow scolded and punshied for coming late to class I reached my schooling and saw Snigdha sitting on the same bench as before..as if there is no change in her life. My last dialogue isn’t really true. In her thots she has already chanded her as well as my life on a one go.

“Oh dear, you came late today” she said, and like a decent school story telling boy I explained what happed to me form the movement I woke up.

On that day I never realized that no one ever asked me of my early arrival but this day is quite different. Wow I am enjoying it.

We spent more and more time together, After every class we expected the present teacher to go out early and next teacher to enter late. All was in my mind to spend more and more time with her. The games period was all we needed to live the world and be alone where no one disturbs our talk and we are in limitless boundary of imaginations planning our future.

I hated the last class bell that is going to separate us form spending time together but according to school rules we have to leave the campus as soon as the last bell rings. This was the first day I entered the class late and have left the school campus very very late…

When I said B Bye to her followed by “Love You” I got a quick reply “Don’t say it a loud” and we got separated…I thought there is something strange but enjoyable to romance by hiding and feel the nasha of love.

The day was different and quite enjoyable. It was Happiness that we search in every positives and negatives of our partner (In every ups and downs). In fact there is no negatives of our partner when we are in love.

Love makes us Really Blind….!!!!!

YULM Chapter 2

Who was your first crush ?

“Sanjana”  is the straight answer..

Did you tell her ?

” I rather not discuss about it ”

But we want to know…

“She was a class mate in Vth grade and I was dumbo that I was afraid even to talk with girls that time…So we had no story.”

Then When did you make the Second heart beat for you ?

” OK here is the story……”

The school days were about to get over. I was just attending preboard examinations of my class 10th in Kendriya Vidyalaya Medak and the very first instruction in front of my eyes was “Read the Questions Carefully, You have to solve each and every question given in the paper. There are no overall choices however internal choices are provided for questions carring……” and the very first thought I had in my mind was…Should I propose her today?

Snigdha, I love you..

Snigdha, I have feelings for you. I mean I love you..

Snigdha, I want to tell you something. I have feelings for you. I mean, I want to say. I love you…

Care the hell..! How to tell a girl that I actually love her without even knowing the proper scientific definition of love. Oh I dont know how but I will propose her today..

The day passed and we were together the whole day and I could never express my feeling to her. (although the exam was cleared and I was not thrown in any punishment classes)

Y ? Its natural man..This was the first time I was going to propose a girl in my life..and I dint knew how to..

Then a day came and we sat opposite to each other that too in a Library. She was looking as special as I have a gift from almighty and the only thing I have to do is Ask for Her.

I closed my eyes and opened it again only to make sure that we are not in a dream. And the very first words I said to her was,

” I have feelings for you”

“What?” She replied.

“I said I have feelings for you”

“What do you want to say?” She said.

“I need to tell you, I have feelings for you. I kinda love you.”

“Keep quite”  The librarian shouted.

” I love my parents, I love my sisters, I love my chacha, taya, aunti and  all my uncle. So what kind of love you are talking about.” She re-questioned.

“I am saying about Personal Love” I said. ” I have feelings for you and I want to know Do you feel the same for me ?” first time question was for my side.

She was quite for a long time….really long..

I asked again “Do You Love me ?”

She smiled and wrote something on her note book and showed it to me

AVAANU – Yes I Do.




YULM Chapter 1

This is my very own version of such moments that I can never forget. If someone has objection in my views he/she is truly welcome in my blog and I pay an apology for the very such word I spell if anytime it hurts anyone in or around my life..truly I Love You all…

Our heart starts its beats the very second you are existed in this world..but the first time you make a heart beat is it when you are born.

You make a tear in your mother’s eye for the first time and she smiles…

this is how you are born..you create a feeling not even knowing that you actually did something..

Life is not really as you know it..because there is lot to learn, lot to experience and I tell you lot to make such several moments when you cry..or made someone do it for you…

And the very next time I mad someone cry was really a deal to tell you..

Y U Lost Me….

Every body in his/her lifetime passes through a romantic touch, a breez where you feel you are top of world.  A reason to  live..a reason to live for..and most important to die for…

So here is my story touching such events of my life where sometime someone lost me or sometimes happened a reverse.


Lets begin….