Life Without You

A day starts
Lights brights
Moon shine
Dissapeared so fine
The boy wakes
sees the life
Of all the happiness
He chooses the light
Light says I love u
Dont leave me
I am for u
Boy says
I choose u
You are my life
But I wana shine too

Boy leads his path of success
He finds a Friend
He walks too far as
This story has an end

A call comes from the morning dawn
It is the light, which says I’m still on
The boy is walking up so high
He always dream to reach the sky

The Friend he meets
has something to fear
Though he never finds
A drop of tear

Boy scared one day
And calls the light
No reply and he get fright

Calls his Friend
just to whisper
I am scared
Be with me this winter

The Friend is whole
Pure and white
Says my Friend
There is no need to fright

Boy gets tears of joy
With lots of love
he dares to fly

The story will allways continue
but friend I don’t know
How will be
Life without u

How will be
life without U

What Is Tapish?

 

“TAPISH IS A COWARD”

Tapish is Scared by many situations; therefore he has to do what he does.

Tapish is Scared for losing his love, therefore he cares too much for it.

Tapish is Scared for being alone in this world, thus he starts his day in making friends.

Tapish is Scared for physical fighting, therefore he believes in a peaceful living.

Tapish is Scared for being dumb, therefore he learns new things daily.

Tapish is Scared for not being accepted by the world, therefore he tries his level best to understand the world.

Tapish is Scared for being a single unknown individual with no identity…

Therefore HE FIGHTS

TO BECOME

THE ONE

GOD HIMSELF….!!!!

Someone so Scared can only be COWARD, A Courageous Coward..

Thus in Simple Words…

TAPISH IS A COWARD.

 

YULM Chapter 6

 

Six years after I was born, my mother got pregnant again. I don’t need to tell you what it feels in a kid’s mind about thinking of someone is coming in-to your family and might take all the place in your parents life what you had till this time.

Every day till nine months from then, it’s all the talk about a new baby coming to your life. Whatever you do seems nothing new to your parents except for the thought that the new baby is going to change your life. You need to be strong/responsible/caring/and all other stuff which you never wanted to be… So in frustration I said to my mom, “I want only a Baby Girl and not a boy. And that too she must be white in colour. If not, I will not love her..!”

Indeed after nine months I had a baby sister who was snow white when I holed her for the first time and she squeezed my finger in a tight grip as if she knows who I am….and for the fact that I love her or not…you must consult my sister not me….

Readers must be wondering how all of a sudden this story of past came in between the pages of YULM Chapter 6. But telling you the truth, this was the same way I discovered it in my life’s journey when I was with Snigdha Gupta. I never knew that my one childish dialogue I spoke, when I was of only 6 years of age is going to bite my ass after 11 years of the incident.

So as Snigdha and I talked more and more with each other, we got to know more and more about each other. And one day I told her the story of how my sister was born. That day and the next very very days got a new turn in my brain about my present life. When she heard my part of story, instead of enjoying how good it feels to have a sister in my arms holding for the first time. She complained, “In past you said you need a white skin colour girl or else you won’t love her. And now your love changes form a white colour girl to a black one. What was that??? What is the guarantee that again it won’t change from Black to White? What will I do then??” and stupid tears in her eyes followed…

Actually What Was THAT..? How about a childish comment I made in my past look cute when I was 6 and sucks when I have crossed 16…

I don’t have that view of thinking now and never had an idea that she feels inferior of her skin colour. Actually till that time I didn’t even noticed what her skin colour was. I was so deep in her love that I only loved her presence around me.

Though I had run all these facts in my mind but never did I expressed the level of maturity what she expected from me. I love being kiddo. And that day I reacted the same way. Instead of trying to support her, I gave her a new name, “KALVI” meaning Black Bee… A cute ‘fly’ of my imagination which is needed as an important element in nature so that every flower sprouts a fruit and gets its purpose of living….

I do realize it looks silly form present point view, But it was really fun teasing her by the fences she made in her own mind. I don’t really know what she had interpreted by the nick name I gave her, but it was fun when she got angry on the name “Kalvi” whenever I called her by that.

This idea was stupid but worked out. She left crying or questioning me about my interest in her skin colour or my idea of hypothetically changing my attraction form a Cute and Beautiful Black girl to a Horney white bitch of her imagination. And we enjoyed a happy stay after that….

Only of one fact being unknown to me that I had hurt her inside…

 

 

YULM Chapter 5

 

Time looks great when you are running a smiley life and second by second tickles when it had to go the other way…..

First days with her were great and I imagined the whole life out of it. Two perfect kids. A boy and A girl, Yet I didn’t think of their names but I figured out how cute they looked one on her and one on my hand…

“I will not have sex with you, not now Not Ever”

It was a kind of dialogue which broken up almost all of my futuristic plans. But why the hell I asked her that question. I know I don’t wanted to but asking your girl for a kiss is more difficult than proposing her itself. (A person should never ask any girl for a kiss. Just Do It. This I realized very late by then)

Through my Imaginations it got into a big quarrel with me and her. And as we say, “Thoughts Become Things”

And the argument/ discussion/ whatever you say stated on fire.

“I didn’t mean to have sex with you now but I don’t want to lose the hope that it will never happen.” I said.

From a kiss urge it started to futuristic argument with no clue how.??!

“If you want we will adopt the babies you need. I am not going through all the pain just to create babies for you and I hate the imagination of having sex at all.” was the instant reply.

She even joked, “If you want you can have maids to create babies for you”

A boy hates jokes when he is seriously involve in any discussion how so stupid it may be. When will girls understand this fact?

I don’t remember when was our first argument stated and on what topic, But I do remember this gave us new ideas of each other.

From “I like everything in you.” It went “Your dressing sense is odd, what kind of friends you are with, why you do such things I don’t like you doing all this. Tapish, you have made my expectations down.” Girls I don’t know how frequently change appreciation to criticism.

At last we got angry on each other and then stopped talking with each other.

This was the time where every second counted, as if clock has stated working slowly, Tick Tock Tick Tock every second I felt something missing out of my life.

Is this Love???

Is this the feeling what every boy and girl in love feel about.???

Though quarrelling and fighting over one other but still feel like keep arguing every day, every hour and every second….

Is this Love….

And heart said, “Yes It Is.”

I moved my legs towards the landline telephone kept on white table in my drawing room and it started ringing before I could touch the receiver. When I picked up the call and said “Hello!”

“I LOVE YOU” was the reply of the only voice I wanted to hear over now in a weepy voice.

 

YULM Chapter 4

Love makes life Beautiful….nice lyrics to sing a song…

Love – Attraction – Infatuation – Lust – Sex – Emotions…….these are the words hit on your personal dairy page one day after the other when you are in actual super creative game called “Life”

The days passed on very quickly when you spent time with the one you love. Sometimes hiding from parents and friends to spent time together and sometimes sitting in an idle pace having virtual conversations in our imagination even when your partner is not in front of you. This in turn increased the telephone bills to four fold and again makes our parents to put a caller id and regular check on bills to where the calling goes….

 The fact that we are never satisfied with our partner is because we always want to explore more and more of each other, with each other and for each other. This happened with me and this happens to every teen age boy who is normal. The first time I lost my focus was when she was teaching me some kind of biology lectures on the flowering plants (stupid hermaphrodites) and instead of checking the words out of her mouth I only paid attention on her lips.

Are they soft?

Are they smooth?

What a perfect shape…

How they come in contact with each other..?

 These were the word explained about the flowering plant to me where as my mind was thinking the same what you might have thought about while reading the above lines.

I felt like what to say or what not to…!!! A hell of biology was entering my mind. It was all pre occupied with all devil thoughts and imagination of the slap I am going to get if I ask and the girl says no. In the game of ‘life’ I was playing a role of a decent, in discipline young boy. But my mind was all indiscipline.

Lot and lot of struggle went in my mind… (what I already told you) and finally I decided to tell her…and I said.

“I want to have sex with you”

No I probably didn’t say that. I said something like…

“I want to have a baby form you” and she was shocked.

“I mean I want to be father of our child not now but in the future” What foolish, stupid and unfocused was I to ask that. What I should have said is any simple romantic line to receive my first kiss.

My first kiss….(Ohhh that’s completely another story and with a very different unusual situation…I will tell that later….) So where was I …ya yes I explained her that I want to put a sweet baby on your tummy in future.

And she replied, “Not now and never I am going to have sex with you. Even after marriage you want kids we’ll adopt them”

Really Love makes life beautiful. But also makes complicated and more stressful to understand the conditions, This line is not written in any book or any literature…but true….!!!

 

 

THE TEST OF EARNER

OTHER TITLES: The Earner’s Test/ Earner’s test of a Man

The theory I want to put forward might not be acceptable to all but anyway it still exists.

Every time a person plans to get success in his life and on these plans, there comes an opportunity. An opportunity to a person is like “Doors” to step upon and there along comes fear that what might be kept after that ‘door’. Dose the door really contains his successes steps? Or, dose the door leads him to a dark room. Whatever the choice and fear are, At last the decision to be made requires guts. Guts to take a risk. Guts to make a choice, either to accept the dark room or quit the success steps. But before you take any decision, there comes a ‘barrier’. A huge Barrier. This is called as “The Earner’s Test”.

I would like to quote 3 examples of Live Present Earner’s Test :

(1) Mr. Bharatlal R. Choudhary

After completion of B.Tech degree in Biotechnology, he decided to earn a fortune in STOCK MARKET. He went to his father and asked for a starter sum of Rs. 10,000. Definitely an amount of 10,000 looks huge but that not to a businessman. The Straight reply form his father was, “We have invested 4 lakhs in you B.Tech and now instead of utilizing this degree, why do you want to go for a Stock Market carrier? Stock Market is for old people who have earned their life and now don’t have anything to do.”

Present Situation: He could not cross the Earner’s test and follow his dreams. And now searching for a Job as instructed by his father.

(2) Mr. Gaurav M. Pendke

After series of frustrative exam sessions and successful completion of B.Tech Degree he decided to stand on his own feet and earn his living. With his efforts and continuous knocks on the ‘door’ he got an call letter from “Bharat Serums” He made a call to his house to give them this happy news. The reply he got form his earner’s i.e. (parents) that “Gaurav, you must study hard and complete your Master’s Degree. I am ready to pay whatever amount you require for getting admissions in College, but you must not think of Job now”

Present Situation: Gaurav is confused whether to kick on the ‘door’ and take a chance crossing the earner’s test or whether to follow the earner’s commands.

(3) Mr. T. Revanth

After completion of his B.Tech in Bioinformatics, he decided to sit for CIVIL EXAMS and become an IAS officer and maintain the responsibility to rule over a district functioning smoothly without corruption. The earners test put forward in front of him was “Son come home and maintain the responsibilities of taking care of the wealth we already possess”

He responded quite differently to the earner’s test. He ran away from the location from where his parents could track upon and called after a month to his house, “Dad I am fine and you need not worry for me, I’ll show you my face when I become someone on whom you feel Proud upon!”

Present Situation: Revanth is in contact with his parents and studying i.e. preparing for the next CIVIL exams in Hyderabad itself.

My Concept of “The Earner’s Test” is not about going against your parents or going against your own people who are currently your economic supporter’s i.e. Earners. But the idea of an Earner’s test is always to check the guts of new generation for what limits they could go to become Earners themselves. Your parents will always love you whether you pass or fail the “Earner’s Test” But they will definitely put in front of you a barrier, a huge barrier to check the strength and devotion of their loved ones.

Tapish M. Dongre

http://www.tapishdongre.wordpress.com

YOUR TEENAGE BOYFRIEND IS A HORMONE BOMB

 

A letter from a girl who has shyly signed behind a pen name flower:
“I’m in a relationship with a guy for the past seven months, we love each other a lot but… he has now imposed a condition that if I love him, I should have sex with him. I told him honestly that I am not going to do it. It is not necessary that just because we love each other immensely and madly that we have to have sex. He says he loves me, but also wants to possess me physically. Or else, he says he’ll just leave me. I can’t leave him because I love him. What do I do?”

Oh God. Oh God, what a quandary. He wants to do it, but you don’t want to do it. He says sleep with me or walk. You say I won’t sleep with you, but I won’t walk either. You are scared of his lust, while he is maddened with it.
     I know a lot of women readers might disagree with me, but I happen to side the boy’s viewpoint. The days of chivalrous platonic love are over. I doubt whether they ever existed outside fairy tales in the first place.
     Any healthy teenage boy is riddled with hormones and flush with testosterone. He doesn’t have the mindset or maturity to think of love as anything more than an opportunity to have sex.
     His girlfriend can start off a conversation about anything, but you can be sure that in few minutes he will divert it towards sex. If he doesn’t do that , then he is too old for his age and not normal.
     For teenage boys the whole point of having a girlfriend is to jump into bed with her. They get quickly bored with too much talk of love and tenderness, and get tired of just holding hands. They want to grab a girl and kiss, then hug and then…
Boys also hang out with their own groups, where they get their male bonding and thrills. Girls are meant for fun, not just for long boring walks (which they will have, for sure) or long syrupy love talk (which they will talk, as long as they feel they will one day get to have sex).
     So my young friend, please understand this. Your boyfriend was quite honest when he told you to either have sex with him or leave him. He was giving you a practical option, which expressed his sincerity. The fact that he didn’t impose himself on you so far, speaks of his decency.
     The fact that he is lusting for you implies he is just a normal healthy boy.
     The fact that he is now irritated and impatient implies that he is being driven up a wall by your firm and persistent “no”.
I am not advising you to have sex with him. Not at all. You must do what your instincts tell you. If your instincts say “don’t even think of sex”, then you must not.
     But please understand that you are walking around with a hormone bomb in your arms, a guy who is about to explode with frustration of not having sex.
     If you continue this way, you will turn him into a nut case or worse. It’s far better to let him go. Let him find someone else who will give him what he wants, and make him happy.
     You go look for a boy who is willing to just hod hands and take long walks and sigh at sunsets and smile at flowers.

Source: Deccan Chronicle (4th Sep 2011)

Author: Mani Shankar
             (The author, a film director, helping the youth strike a balance in their relationships)

YULM Chapter 3

“Ups and downs are the part of life and living happy in these ups and downs is the Art of life” –sri sri ravi shankara…

These kind of dialogue are been taught to a man when he is in his mid of journey to life and very close to death….But the fact is that more than this kinda stuff we learn at our school days itself..by self experience….

The girl you love or have an imagination that you are loving has expressed the same feelings to you. How do you think that day will go for you.?? Of course a ‘Happy’ should be a straight answer. But in real life the first dialogue of Sri Sri Sri Ravi Shankara happens to be true.

All these day…almost full year my mind went on thinking that how to propose her and now when I did and even she replied the same..My mind went blank..Now what? And they Happily Lived Ever After….!!! Sorry to admit you guys the story is mine and it had to go my way…

I use to get up early, Take bath every day (it sucks) and on my bicycle ride to school half an hour before to see the first sight of Snigdha entering form School gate and then spend at least 15 minutes of walk till cycle stand together. And form today the whole seen is subjected to change now. Now that the girl is mine I need not work hard for the stuff. This was the first day I reached Late to my school life..I had no plan to execute on what if the girl really replies to your proposal as “YES! I DO”

Somehow scolded and punshied for coming late to class I reached my schooling and saw Snigdha sitting on the same bench as before..as if there is no change in her life. My last dialogue isn’t really true. In her thots she has already chanded her as well as my life on a one go.

“Oh dear, you came late today” she said, and like a decent school story telling boy I explained what happed to me form the movement I woke up.

On that day I never realized that no one ever asked me of my early arrival but this day is quite different. Wow I am enjoying it.

We spent more and more time together, After every class we expected the present teacher to go out early and next teacher to enter late. All was in my mind to spend more and more time with her. The games period was all we needed to live the world and be alone where no one disturbs our talk and we are in limitless boundary of imaginations planning our future.

I hated the last class bell that is going to separate us form spending time together but according to school rules we have to leave the campus as soon as the last bell rings. This was the first day I entered the class late and have left the school campus very very late…

When I said B Bye to her followed by “Love You” I got a quick reply “Don’t say it a loud” and we got separated…I thought there is something strange but enjoyable to romance by hiding and feel the nasha of love.

The day was different and quite enjoyable. It was Happiness that we search in every positives and negatives of our partner (In every ups and downs). In fact there is no negatives of our partner when we are in love.

Love makes us Really Blind….!!!!!

Entering A new Estate

After completion of my B.tech degree I headed to Hyderabad for Gate coaching classes. A new place brings lots of hopes as well as worries along.

First two days were the most frustative one. Our sir from helpBiotech assured us to come two or three days early and we will search room for you.

The movement we reached here the assured above statement was true except for the fact of a substitution of You instead of we.

So now its was our duty to search room in an unknown place with no place to live that day, having roughly about zero idea of the economic spending and an exhausted body due to travelling.

Though it was a sudden shock for us that helpBiotech provides only a idea about helping yourself, but even learning this was a pleasant experience.

After long tiring two day seach with spending a huge sum of money on  our roaming charges on mobile network. We finally arrived at a Green Colour 2BHK flat. Quite costly but a peaceful place to live.

Our flat owner Dr. Vijju(in short) was very helpful person. He guided me to various economic places nearby which was very necessary for a student life.

After having a peaceful shelter to stay and a personal room to think freely I hope all our worries will turn small and my next post will have more positivity than this one…

Signing off till next internet session.

Tapish M Dongre