Untold Stories Post 72: Inception of Brilliance

(from writing weekly to writing monthly now)

Because My father had a transferable job, I was able to experience what I experienced. I always cursed the transfers but at last I am thankful I had them in past.

Recently The Popularity of Cursing Education System in India is Increasing Day by Day. Mostly the Education system in Primary/Secondary Schools along with the most popular mass production of Engineers in India. The discussion which was once local talk of diss-stress among school mates or pass-outs is now been done Globally. Seriously in Jan 2017 (shooted on very different times) I could find 6 presentation on very popular TED talks by very successful people in their respective field pointing out, researching, digging and explaining why the education system in India is worse.

Various presenters also explained In-spite of Poor Education system, Indian Brains create Excellence when placed abroad. This post is of-course not explaining those points as you can find them on TED Talk by browsing on Google/Youtube or TED website itself. Untold stories posted by me at least are more about the learnt experience by individuals on very small detail topic which is untold because it is either so small or extremely simple that mostly remains unnoticed or mind just ignores it.

My school days in Kendriya Vidyalaya, Eddumailaram were though struggling, but were very different than what I observed and experienced in other KV’s attended by me. Constantly we were told something and fed into our unconscious mind that “KV STUDENTS ARE THE BEST” On a random day the school Principal would take a mic and explain we have the best resources for you and we will always be working hard to get you the latest technologies. This school by location was in a very aloof area, I mean to say there were not enough competitions where we could interact or cross compare and confirm that what our Principal is saying is true. We observed our surrounding which looked clean, technologically high, teachers wise well resourced and thus we believed what ever is told to us is true. The next things was that we learned sharing, and thus even if 1 student achieved higher goals which were definitely impossible to achieve by all as everyone had different talent. But by the law of sharing that person was made to stand on a stage, appreciated and then asked to share the victory with everyone. The students being obedient and non selfish that time use to share their victory. And instead of Reporting one student from this School scored high or gained the victory, the reports were made that KV EDDUMAILARAM HAD WON,i.e including all teaching non teaching staff and student had won the award. We were inside the Inception of Brilliance. We all believed we are brilliant students and thus worked hard to achieve excellence.

After that when I moved to other KV’s again due to my father’s transferable job, I met people and teachers who would quote, ‘…….this is the reason why people say KV school students are dumb.” “………. this is the reason why we don’t have enough technology and resources”
That was the first time I learned or believed that yes these are the reasons why we are dumb or week. But years spent in KV YEddumailaram kept my mind strong that We are Brilliant Students, only here there might be lack of resources..

After years of this incidents I forgot all the points I momentary believed to be true. On a phone call with my mother Tejashri Milind, she quoted a recent appreciation that “Even with limited resources, government schools education and non investing a huge sum of money in private expensive schooling your both kids(me and my sis Kritika Milind) turned out to be excelling in their respective fields”

That moment was like a Reality Distortion for me, I googled some KV pictures and found, that Infra structure of the Schools I studied was worse. I could see now the broken benches I used to sit 10 years ago are still there. Some School Teachers who may or may not be excellent in teaching/preaching are still in Board Websites of KV Group. We had only two computer labs having 6 to 10 working computers and 32 classes full of approx 40 students to use that resources. YES EDUCATION SYSTEM, TEST, PRESSURE, MUG UP SYSTEM, GIVING CHANCE ONLY TO TOP 1% HIGH SCORERS and KILLING THE DREAMS OF other 99% is a system which will fail in this advancing world which appreciates all possibilities.

But one teacher/one person in a life time, who momentary can sow a seed in a Child’s mind, who can create an Inception that the child, every child is Brilliant is what makes people Excel throughout the world.

Today I dont even Remember the name of Principal but I appreciate the wonder he Created which kept me and the whole school going.
Hope Every Student Meets a Teacher who have the power to create this Inception….

Untold Stories 71: Dialogues From The Past

As 2016 Ended and 2017 Begun, I have completed 27 Years 3 Months and 26 Days on this planet. I have no memory of How I was born, may be I should have asked my parents for more background stories, but I remember some of the dialogues personally spoken to me by the people whom I came in contact with in these years of social learning. So here is a List of Top The of them and a short Incident about how it happened and what did I learn.

  1. Maza Madka Voie, Me Kai Karu (Translantion form Marathi to English, Its my pot and its my wish whatever to do with it). Nitin R DongreWhile Breaking an Modearately Expensive Earthen Pot in front of all in anger this dialogue was used by Nitin R Dongre who is eldest paternal uncle to me by family of birth. Though Frightened in childhood by his actions I learned you can do whatever you wish to the things that belong to you, but to do that you need to earn them first.
  2. Think Big, Be the Biggest and Best Cobbler if you like to. Sanja R Dongre. My 3rd paternal Uncle said this while I was polishing a shoe and thinking low of myself at the age of 6, and he motivated me that if you think big, you will achieve big, so never aim small in whatever you are doing in life.
  3. Paristati, Paristati (Situations Situations) Nevedita R Dongre. I heard the dialogues complaining and escaping from things, coming from my paternal uncle’s wife. She was always blaming all the fault of their misery on situations and living an unhappy life as much as I could observe. I learned never to blame things on situations and take actions while modifying you plan as according to how the environment changes.
  4. Bairi Zali Manun Aiku Nai Yet (I am deaf so I cant Hear You) Old Granny Khobragade. Even after shouting instructions to My Great Granny of Maternal side, she said in her end of days that I am becoming deaf thus I cant hear you properly. I learned that your body is not going to be healthy for ever thus live every day of your life fullest till your body is giving favourable conditions to enrich your living.
  5. Dada Me tuza Sathi Kahi nai karu shaklo (“Dada” meaning Big Brother-a person’s nick name, “I couldn’t do anything for you”) Milind R Dongre. After his father’s death my father use to use this dialogue many a times during the day. I observed that while grandfather was alive my father lived his own life and tried monthly visiting his own father which were frustrating for me. But there were several moments where my father was angry on his father for the past deeds he did. Overall I learned that if you want to do something for someone or your decision is not do anything for anyone, the moment to decide is now. It now or never as regret is an emptiness which cannot be filled no matter what.
  6. My father is not dead, He was Assassinated. Nitin R Dongre. Deducting form the 1 year sever illness due to a head injury, my Grandfather died.  Medically it was a natural death but some said that he stopped eating food to save his wife from the pain to do his daily chore as for 1 whole year he couldn’t move at all. To this day various members of family have various theory of his death. A strong statement of his assignation in front of everyone present around the funeral ceremony by Nitin my Uncle depicts that human will believe  in the theories and knowledge he/she is having. Thus my learning form this dialogue was to expand and expose you mind of education to as vast boundaries as you can. Even if you are going to die believing an Inception, let that be a huge one.
  7. If you are born you are Invited. Ali Raza Cheema. Hesitant to go to an uninvited party I was not sure that I should attend a birthday party whom I barely know. But going to a Australian Island for the first time ignited a spark of curiosity in me. Thus I went to the party anyway. I learned that the statement is true, if you are born you are invited to see the beauty of the nature, meet unknown people and know the world more.
  8. You will Do it. I know that. P. Anand Rajsheker After 3rd consecutive attempt to write CSIR and examination to apply for PhD in India, I lost all hopes and then my professor said this world to me, YOU WILL DO IT, I KNOW THAT. I did that examination again and failed again, then wrote again and failed. I did not know that examination is/was worth my time or not but I liked the trust someone kept in me to push me forward, a trust which I never received from my teachers before. Thus may be I will write the exam again in future years or complete PhD by any other means. But I learned that trust is a strong motivational force.
  9. I cant Imagine you as a father, I just cant Ali Raza Cheema After observing my all time childish behaviour my Roommate and very close friend of that time in year 2013-14 said, I really cant imagine you taking care of another newborn, you are a child of your own thinking. I dint learn anything but that point made me think on the topic what kind of father I want to be and will I ever succeed. I guess I have to wait and find out…
  10. Gandiwar lat Marala Lagte Yechi. (YOU NEED A KICK ON YOUR ASS SO THAT YOU CAN UNDERSTAND) Raghunath P Dongre I was not close to my Grandfather at all, but most of my strong memories are of when he was lying on the bed for 1 year after the head injury of his. I tried my best but could never understand what he wanted to say. His vocal chords made very funny noises instead of really saying any meaningful sentences. He use to regain his memory for a very short period of time and then forget everything, even who you are or who he himself is. I was never hesitant to do any of his work while he was in that condition. My own brain was adjusting the quotient of humanity vs scientific curiosity of my grandfather’s condition. I had the image of an well educated as well as M.A.L L B advocate level of literate man lying on a bed with no memory of what ever he studied throughout his life. Then one day when I was not really able to understand what he wanted to say, I was exposed to the worse Marathi language swearing coming from an educated grandfather who never used such words before in front of anyone, at least not in front of his grandchildren. That was shocking as well as an eye opener for me that the white collar fake image he had for the whole life is been shattered by just removing a part of his memory. Thus I learned and decided to try not to have a double face life and accept the both good and bad in me. Most important, never portray only one side of your image as both the positive and negative qualities I have, make me as ME.

Enjoy Your Year Guys. Though I did not achieve something today but I guess 1st Jan 2017 was the most productive day of my life, I learned a lot and am eager to learn more throughout the year.

Happy New Year to ALL

 

#tapishdongre #utsp

 

 

 

Untold Stories 70: Is there Baby Yet?

 

In around the year 2010-2011, my friend Bharatlal Choudhary had started a new hobby of reading books and actually implementing the strategies he read in those book to practice in his life and we being his social surrounding were treated as his experimental specimens.

After reading an article about “Positive Peer Pressure” he explained it to everyone what the theory said, “Peer Pressure isn’t always bad, infact instead of writing a GOAL on a paper and never see it for rest of your life, its better to tell it to your friends loudly. The way human mind and conversation’s are concerned, your friends and social surrounding will keep reminding you of the Goals by constantly asking if you have achieved it or not? Sometimes you will feel motivated sometime insulted but you will have a live time target reminders and the peer pressure that will guide you in completing your GOAL”

The Idea when expressed for the fist time seemed really stupid, but in those days we tried every experiment possible to use the time we saved from Bunking(not going) the University. He stated his first goal that he would buy a motorcycle Bajaj Pulsar 220cc by the end of next year. Telling you the result in advance: he failed very badly to meet the dead line, I dint mean to say he dint try enough because I have seen myself him working hard for the Goal he stated. But when analysing the whole situation, the theory worked. During the whole time of the experiment and even after some months later his social surrounding including myself asked him several time “how the work to achieve your goal is going?”

After that our life began in different directions and I almost forgot that he still uses this theory to achieve most of his goal though first one failed. And this time, he meets his deadline and he did achieved most of his Goals.

Human mind today is so self centred that most of us dont try enough to know whats going around with others life, but this self centred mind also have a positive effect that we keep telling others what we did in past and what are our aims for future. The next time someone we meet again whom we have had conversation in past reminds us of some the words we spoke to them and again the theory of Peer Pressure seemed to be working.

I could have forgotten about the Peer Pressure Theory story until I got remained due to current two situations…

One of my current friend and a co-work said in a very jolly mode before signing off from work that Mate, I am singing off taking break and me and my husband will be starting to put full efforts in making a baby. By start of 2017 I want to have my own baby’ were her words. After that every-time I meet her the involuntary response comes in my brain to clear the curiosity and I end up asking, “IS there A Baby Yet????”

The second situation occurred that I keep telling my current co workers and friends that want to pursue PhD in Plant Biotechnology. That must be a dominant part of my conversation that even months after I met someone in a party a night before, people still asked me, “How is your search for PhD is going?” The peer pressure of these questions will surely puts me sad mood momentary but encourages me to apply more places and find options to achieve a PhD in near future.

Try the Peer-Pressure Theory yourself, and I will try if I could resist in asking, “Is there a Baby Yet????”

#tapishdongre #utsp

Untold Stories 69: My Dead Friends

 

6.9 is my Date of Birth, and this number also symbolises an adult mating position not ideal for mating, anyways lets get back story.

“Books are not papers and words, but a conversation between two individuals on a one to one basis not separated by some, but many years or generations.” -Author Unknown

Our basic life Ideas though we claim to be to be our own are mostly inspired or influenced by things around us. Smart thinkers may deny the above line, but more Smarter thinkers will at least give time to understand the point. More than understanding, its better if we could accept and then use the theoretical concepts, try it and then form our own.

For example, My Grandfather born in 80’s due to his upbringing or Influence of the India Pak division and tragedy in 1947, had very rude attitude towards Muslims in India. I dint really talk this with him face to face, but after his death, when I was able to read his Dairy Pages, I could interpret this information. Currently I dont judge him for his views but that defiantly Influenced me not to have those views and treat everyone equal, no matter of which believe system one follows.

Another example when I was reading a book of Chetan Bhagat Revolution 2020 (the writer is still alive by the way) I was so negatively influenced, may be because of my age or the long distance relation I was under that time that, I became super Possessive for a short period of time. I am happy that I could come out of that phase.

Similarly a student of Science or a Student of Religion, talk confidently about their respective subject without even getting the Idea that the words he/she is using are not of his own and been derived by the content of Books the individual is Reading or the content of People he/she is surrounded by.

By now you must have an Idea that Books or People who you talk to, have an influence over your way thinking. Most of Motivation speakers including your own mom advice you to be aware of what friends circle you choose, as most of the time, you become an average thinker of sum of the Circle around you.

Now choosing a Right book is also important, its like you are choosing a Dead or Alive friends which at least for some time will have a little impact on you.

Most of the books I choose to read are of writers who are no more alive, but through their books I can have a one to one understating that what kind or type of thinking they had in their time. They are My Dead Friends and I am fortunate to have them. Like other Friends I don’t actually always have to agree with them, nor I have a compulsion to be in their company. but when I am in or out of their company, I feel like slowly I am a changed person.

Hope you have your Dead Friends too….name me some, introduce me with some of special ones…and Have a Great week ahead 🙂

#tapishdongre #utsp

Untold Stories 48: The Breaking Balloon

 

Ohhh…Good to be Back…!!!!!
I was doing more than 48 hours a week job in field of SECURITY. Whole day standing at one particular place, wish people, make observation and keep thinking, creating stories in mind.

One particular day, I saw one small girl probably age 3 to 5, was playing with a Big balloon with her father. All the time she use to push the balloon upwards, yes she was successful in doing so as the balloon was very lighter in weight that I was able to observe. Then due to its own weight and crossing the friction in air and pull of gravity, the balloon use to come down. Other times she use to throw this balloon towards her father and the balloon use to dash back to her after bouncing on her father’s head. For a robotic field of view this made no sense. There was no level of game-play, no competition and no difficulty to set in this game what she was playing and no reward system but still I could see JOY in her face every time the Balloon reaches her back and she gets the chance to throw it back in air. She was happy to do this again and again and again….

Rarely this play toy i.e Balloon use to come down taking direction of wind and then she use to miss the catch. Even after that the small girl was happy chasing after it. Then by running after the balloon she again got the hold of her toy and started throwing upwards. I could miss my childhood but I am sure I wont enjoy the game-play now as I had remember whats going to happen in next few moments. If you were a balloon player this must have happened with you too. Due to repeated memory or your experience that you cal it.. even you know what is going to happen in this situation even before I write or you read it. But lets assume u dint read my last line and pretend nothing serious point I ever strike in your memory and lets continue with the story..

After some time and several time passing the Balloon upwards in air and catching again, the Balloon lost its elasticity. And lets not blame it on the cruel rock sitting on road doing nothing and now hurting/pricking the only girls play toy; The BALLOON BURS-TED. And now all the air trapped in the Balloon released to the atmosphere creating an Equilibrium with the Atmospheric pressure. Scientifically and in Robotic view its amusing right??? But I saw, the moment this incident occurred, little girl started Crying out a loud. She held the Dead Remains of her Balloon (as if the Balloon was alive in first place) and ran towards her father as if some big loss has taken place. May be in her environment it is a big loss but that I am no one to judge. She ran towards her father and hugged him crying that Daddy The Balloon is NO more.

Her father hugged her back and took the Balloon away from her. Consoled her. (The voices/dialogues I couldn’t hear as I was standing little far from them and air resistance made it impossible for what the father was saying). The girl cried it for a while. Then Controlling her emotions and accepting her loss as real she stopped crying and then walked away in other direction from where they have come.

Standing and working and being in the routine for earning money for bread and survival almost made me into Robotic view, but little of my past memories still confirmed that I am a human when I recollected this has occurred in past too. When I was small, I use to play with Balloon and Then The balloon busted, being small I was not shameful in crying out a loud and taking the dead remains of Balloon to my parents or grandparents. Showing them the Balloon is gone and its no more. Then I remember they use to Carry the Dead remains of the Balloon away form me. Find a place in the Balloon rubber which his big enough to make swell it back. Fill air, tied a not and give me back saying the Big Balloon is now transferred into Baby Balloon, take a good care of it. Parents gave it a funny name called “Ti-cha-kula” And I use to get back in the happy world that the loss is bearable now as Balloon is still alive.

I could just observe that on those days when we were small Parents use to give hope to the young kids that even if the game play is small and even if there is loss, there is still hope that things can be rebuilt. There is no pressure, no need to cry on the current loss and take your steps further in future and some day build your own big world.
This hope keeps the humanity in me alive, and even I’ll try my best to keep the light of hope alive in my future generations that even if they fail in future they will remember the Bursting Balloon and hold the hope to accept the reality and continue more strongly keeping their baby steps into the BIG WORLD.

Good Day EVERYONE, Happy Week AHEAD 🙂

‪#‎utsp‬ ‪#‎tapishdongre‬

The PROPOSAL

On 26th Dec 2008, I proposed my life partner for the first time. Night After Christmas, Half an Hour before the Girl hostel closing timing, After dropping her form the Mathematics Tuition Class in Nagpur, I expressed my feelings to her without bothering about what she has plans for me or not. For a teenage boy, any proposal takes a varied emotions imbalance when he is afraid of the rejection and keeps on postponing his proposal dates because of the fear of Rejection. But on this day I over came this fear…

Today After 6 years of this incident, I wrote a poem in Indian National Language (HINDI) expressing same emotional imbalance what I had on those days:

Puchna Hai TUM se Muze kuch Magar

Darta HU TUM Naa To Nahi Kahogi

Jab Dekah tumko pheli bar

Karne laga man mei batien do char

Kuch Meethi thi, Kuch Khatti thi

Par Baiten Dil se Sacchi thi

Usme tha Kabi ikraar aur kabi inkaar

Socha tum se Puch hi lu, par

Darta tha TUM Naa To Nahi Kahogi

Socha Tumhe, Chaha Tumha

Har pal apna mana tumhe

Dil ki aawaz aane lagi labo pe

Par roka maine kuhd ko is daar se

Puchunga to tum Naa to Nahi Kahogi

Sadiya Raat Ho gai

Gharwalo se baat ho gai

Samay ki seedi jo humne Chadi thi

Aaage shayad saamapt se ho gai

Puchna tha tumse magar

Darta that Tum Na to Nahi Kahogi

Sacchi Jhuti baato mei jo teri hasi thi

Na Jane Kab meri Zindagi ban gai

Yu hi bani Kavita se puch liea,

PARI, TUM KAHI NAA TO NAHI KAHOGI ???

Ye hai mere sapno ka haalath

Ab raha na jata teri bin kare kuch baat

Ab shabdo ke alaankar se puch hi liea

Kahi Tum Naa To Nahi Kahogi

Khena hai Tum se Aaj Bhi Magar

Darta Hu, Tum Naa to Nahi Kahogi…

-Tapish Dongre

Break UP Memories

After hearing all form most of people about their break up in mid NOV and DEC 2014, I was inspired to write about Breakup.

Actually people may think that Break up is not at all an inspiring topic to write about, but for me it is…

Breakup is a phase where we are emotionally disturbed as the momentum to stay dependent on our partner is disturbed by some external force (Newton’s 1st law). Let the external force be another person or change of interest or created misunderstandings or unavoidable circumstances. As per my experience Breakup for me is very difficult to handle as I am a very emotional sensitive guy, but experience taught me that Breakup is an temporary phase to stay and move on. New is always better and we learn a lot form our past experience that we are ready to avoid that factor in our next relationship.

So here a story  about my first Breakup:

 

It was in 2004/2005 during my class X board exam period in Hyderabad, the girl whom I plan to spend my life with came with all the gifts I gave her, destroyed into pieces and kept in an Yellow Polythene bag handed over to me, saying lot of stuff till date I cannot figure out what that mean to me. A guy, one of my classmate was with her(Nikesh/Nikhlesh) and he came to me and said, “shame on you.”

More than my breakup I was angry that an Alien person who has no knowledge about me and my girlfriend’s relationship has came with her and speaking against me.

That time calculated something and wrote on my dairy which I promise myself to open in 20 years and follow whats written in. I explained myself with simple logic that if a girl takes third party to explain or support her statement to me then there are two factors to learn her

1) She feels unsafe to withstand my anger on breakup (which makes my choice clear that in future i must chooze a girl who is more bold in facing me)

2) She needs some else to express what she has to say to me (which guides me that I did not made her comfortable to speak the truth to me that she had to take another person, tell the truth about me to him and talk to me back)

I was aware that as Human, my powers are limited and when my anger cools down I will have a natural tendency to forgive for what she did to me. So to remind myself I need something strong that will stop me form getting along with her again,

Thus I check the yellow polythene given by her again,

I checked there was watch, some papers/letter/greeting cards and a diary what I gifted to her on our first Valentines Day. Inside the dairy there was 26 INR what that she returned to me after calculating what I spent on her. I discovered that a girl with this amount of ego and pride over her father’s earned money is definitely no match for me. So I kept that two 10 INR notes, one 5 INR note and a one rupee coin with me till date which reminds me that why I should not got back to her again.

I am not saying that everyone should hold themselves back to fall into same relationship with same person, But as you know the that person the most, and there are higher chances for history to repeat itself. And I am not that strong to take that chance and feel the pain again. I kept the one rupee coin as a strong memory naming it “Kalvi’s Coin” reminding me to move on and learn more form life.

I and My sister Kritika Dongre believes in one strong point by HIMYM

“NEW IS ALWAYS BETTER.”

So in search of this better one, my journey continued and I believe I finally after several failures I found one 🙂

But more on that later…

Happy Break UP guys

Congratulations on Commencement of a New Journey……Never give up till you find your right match

Happy Day EVERYDAY