Six years after I was born, my mother got pregnant again. I don’t need to tell you what it feels in a kid’s mind about thinking of someone is coming in-to your family and might take all the place in your parents life what you had till this time.
Every day till nine months from then, it’s all the talk about a new baby coming to your life. Whatever you do seems nothing new to your parents except for the thought that the new baby is going to change your life. You need to be strong/responsible/caring/and all other stuff which you never wanted to be… So in frustration I said to my mom, “I want only a Baby Girl and not a boy. And that too she must be white in colour. If not, I will not love her..!”
Indeed after nine months I had a baby sister who was snow white when I holed her for the first time and she squeezed my finger in a tight grip as if she knows who I am….and for the fact that I love her or not…you must consult my sister not me….
Readers must be wondering how all of a sudden this story of past came in between the pages of YULM Chapter 6. But telling you the truth, this was the same way I discovered it in my life’s journey when I was with Snigdha Gupta. I never knew that my one childish dialogue I spoke, when I was of only 6 years of age is going to bite my ass after 11 years of the incident.
So as Snigdha and I talked more and more with each other, we got to know more and more about each other. And one day I told her the story of how my sister was born. That day and the next very very days got a new turn in my brain about my present life. When she heard my part of story, instead of enjoying how good it feels to have a sister in my arms holding for the first time. She complained, “In past you said you need a white skin colour girl or else you won’t love her. And now your love changes form a white colour girl to a black one. What was that??? What is the guarantee that again it won’t change from Black to White? What will I do then??” and stupid tears in her eyes followed…
Actually What Was THAT..? How about a childish comment I made in my past look cute when I was 6 and sucks when I have crossed 16…
I don’t have that view of thinking now and never had an idea that she feels inferior of her skin colour. Actually till that time I didn’t even noticed what her skin colour was. I was so deep in her love that I only loved her presence around me.
Though I had run all these facts in my mind but never did I expressed the level of maturity what she expected from me. I love being kiddo. And that day I reacted the same way. Instead of trying to support her, I gave her a new name, “KALVI” meaning Black Bee… A cute ‘fly’ of my imagination which is needed as an important element in nature so that every flower sprouts a fruit and gets its purpose of living….
I do realize it looks silly form present point view, But it was really fun teasing her by the fences she made in her own mind. I don’t really know what she had interpreted by the nick name I gave her, but it was fun when she got angry on the name “Kalvi” whenever I called her by that.
This idea was stupid but worked out. She left crying or questioning me about my interest in her skin colour or my idea of hypothetically changing my attraction form a Cute and Beautiful Black girl to a Horney white bitch of her imagination. And we enjoyed a happy stay after that….
Only of one fact being unknown to me that I had hurt her inside…