I struggle myself a lot to cope with a few of the below-mentioned “Wounds” but after reading the comments under the original post, I discovered I was not alone. Indians by default live under the influence that “Parents are the Perfect Beings” and thus mosty anytime I expressed this to my classmates and colleagues, they did find a fault in me in even expressing my feelings on this subject. Then I discovered more about intergenerational trauma and the ability to cope with it. It is nice to know that even other people who have faced similar issues were able to come out of their childhood traumas and live a decent life for themselves and the next generations. One of the best lines I could read in the comment section by Markus Wilson was, “I forgive him, or should I say, I forgive myself for wanting him to be more than he could be.”
Hope I could fix the repetitive stories in my head or at least give them a proper ending. For a Better Future.
So 16th March 2022 about 00:00am I got the Google Notification that it’s “E-Baba’s Birthday”. For those of you who have not read the previous articles I wrote on E-Baba, he is my paternal Uncle having very high moral grounds in my perception.
With the notification came a moral dilemma, should I even wish him or not?
I know wishing any person on his/her birthday is a positive social activity. But to wish E-Baba there are various Caveat attached. The most prominent one was that I was somewhat angry with him myself. Don’t get me wrong, he still holds a high moral value as a perceptive being. But his clashes with his own family made him choose an action in the past where he left everyone hanging dry. His side of the story is true that he was hurt. But hurt people hurt other people, consciously or unconsciously. Thus when he had fought with his brothers and left the main house, there was no fault of us at that time, that we deserve his isolation. And for leaving me as a kid, unguided, that really made me angry.
In later years, due to good circumstances, now that he is making his efforts to re-console with his brothers and sharing happy memories of them being together, this, in turn, made me angrier. That, “all the years of anger that I had held on to, was that of no use or no worth”?
Watching this movie “The Adam Project” I was able to have another perception of myself. In a conversion in this movie, (exactly at the time of this picture above) it is expressed that we tend to be angry when we grow up, or tend to, not because we are really angry. But in fact, because we are sad. It is easier to be ‘Angry’ than to be ‘Sad’. To mourne from our pain and then to recover. Is easier to blame others and tend to relive the made-up stories than to face the hurtful truth. Since this whole month I am trying to accept my own one truth after another, so thought why not give this theory a chance too.
Instead of being angrier about E-Baba’s constantly changing actions, let’s consider him as a normal human being. A human being who makes mistakes.
And when I think it that way, I am able to think one step ahead of that where I was stuck all these years. And that is, We tend to accept the mistakes of people we love. Or in other words, we tend to ignore the mistakes of people we love and accept the person as a whole being. And whenever we are not able to accept a person as a whole, that is only because we are not able to ignore the mistakes that the person has done to us.
There again comes a choice in the present moment, when we are all alive, Not in memories but here in flesh and blood. Time for new bonds, time for new memories, time for new fights, and time for new love. I think I can get past this mental stuck and move in a new direction. Not a right or wrong direction, as no one could judge where our future lies. But at least one step ahead of our past stuck.
So somehow grabbed the number from my cousin’s sister and texted him, “Happy Birthday“
Unfortunately, this is not a complete story as it is rolling on this present timeline, thus even I don’t know where my or others’ actions will lead in the future, but till that time when my heart beats more than normal that compel me to write more about E-Baba, I can only Say it is “To Be Continued….”
See you in the next post or next life, whichever comes earlier.
The domain name https://www.freecoursesonline.me/?1 may or may not work in the near future if/when you might be reading this article a few years down the road. This is a website to offer free copies of the paid courses available online.
Using so much paid and unpaid material to study last year, I was considering myself a borderline pirate with a quite amorphous morality. On one side I wanted to contribute to the makers of all the courses I am consuming, on the other hand, I was financially struggling myself. Thus in the future, if I make a course and you are pirating it in some way, I promise I will be able to understand and empathize with you with my full heart as today I am in that position myslef.
A Screenshot of this website looks something like this:
Now that you know about my moral ambiguity, we can continue to discuss how this website is of benefit to any person who wanted to learn or get a glimpse of the content on famous paid platforms before investing in the content.
It has a huge collection of Cources
Compressed file size for eazy download
Web/Server based application dosent work as it require a paid account
All other content including videos, books or open source content is free and accessible
Cources are well organised
You can request an upload of a course, but it dose take time to rip them and upload.
There might be many more points I can comment on but if this website or certain thing of this kind remains in the future, please do write it in the comments section below. And if you can, please do buy the paid courses to contribute to the creators.
Right at 11:58 pm on a Sunday just 4 days shy from new years eve 2022, I completed Ali Abdaal’s class on “How to Study for Exam” and here is a short review about it.
Is the Course Worth it?
The short, one-word answer is “YES”. But since I am too excited and being long term fan of Ali Abdaal’s work on Youtube, I would like to elaborate it was a wonderful journey only to learn 3 key ingredients about studying for anything. Giving some spoilers and no spoilers ahead, they were to UNDERSTAND, REMEMBER and FOCUS. But these three words cannot sum up the course as there were more than 100 other points in the course to learn out of which I can retain only 60% knowledge. (Based on my capacity to process the data I learned at this stage of life).
WHY did I take this Course?
I am trying my best to complete the IBM Data Science Course I signed up for last November, and it has been almost a year since I am unable to complete it. I kept missing out on the information or losing motivation or just not focused enough. Internally I don’t want to be the person who signed up for something and left it midway, even after knowing how important it is. Thus now I wanted to know if am I doing something wrong in my study technique that I am unable to reach my target. And these unique situations lead to my search for “how to learn better”. Few Google Search and a few friends of friends recommendations took me to a specific link on SkillShare and that was this course:
How much time does it take to complete the Course?
The point here is not how much time did it take me to go through one run of the whole video played at 1x speed. But it is more important how we think about how much can we learn in any given amount of time. But I will not hide any truth in this article. It took me a whole week to go through the material of the course including the time I spent absorbing and assimilating the material I just consumed. Probably others can do it within 24 hours by binge-watching the content. But if you need to learn something from it, it would be great to at least keep 3 days to one week in hand just to try out a few of the new techniques we learned
As mentioned in the course about “Active Recall” and “Spaced repetition,” I would probably try to implement the skills I upgraded and try to go through the re-wired learning methodology I was just enlightened with. Hopefully, I can use these skills soon for learning anything in life and currently complete the Data Science Course with a more focused and enthusiastic approach.
I will make it or not, in either case, I will keep this blog updated on how did I go further.
Compleated another certificate realted to data Science. This was was step by step explainaiton of the whole procedure of a Data Science project. It showed the pattern as a whole instead of goind too much deep into how each operation is being done. In the discussion coloum of the IBM portal some students found it way too eazy, whereas the idea of working with so much data and numbers on a excell sheet in future overwelmed me a bit.
So finally I overcame my fears and compleated this bit and here is the link to flaunt on another certificate from IBM
Now Coming to the main part of this article. The final takeaway of this course was the final assignment learned in week 4 of the course where we executed the learning of different Markdowns (i.e Fonts / Caligraphy in Coding). This has complied in a Jyupter Notebook made inside Waston Studio provided by IBM. I am sharing a link to my work as this would be the first-ever task I managed to pulled of in my Data Science journey. (I know I know in the future I will laugh that I shared a barely minimum sill level task but it is just the start of a big Marathon thus I thought the smaller achievements are worth a share)
Hopefully, more Certificates, as well as projects, would come in the future to flaunt my skills thus do sign up / follow /Subscribe or bookmark this website to get further updates posted as and when I learn new cool stuff.
While practicing work on Jupyter Notebooks there are many fancy ways to write a code markdown. Markdown are like Headings, Titles and Subtitles in a code which are not executed in while we run the programme. These Markdowns are only there to guide the reader of what the code is about or explain the code step by step or add hint or comments.
There is a cheat sheat to guide us through the variety of Markdown styles. I will provide the link to original post so that the credit goes to the content creator rather than just copy pasting the styles in this web page.
Sitting, working or study at “home” I am daily bombared with many commercial adds. Tapping deep down to my insecurity or just touching the peak of my craving curve. These adds, target the basic choice of a person. Though I am learing Data Science and I am hopeful to be on the other side of the imaganary line where I will be making software and Data Analysis platforms that can predict a model or some behaviourial pattern. But currently on primitive side of the imaginary line, these “Wants” are of a big distraction.
Thus instead of giving on to those Wants” I am just making another list here with pictures of all the things I want, instead of the ones I actually need.
Playstation Five PS5
Its been pending since the start of the year. Probably the lack of availabilty in the current market makes it more desirable. I currenlty have a PS4 and probaly more than 100 games. Actually exactly 121 Games (I just checked my list) and out of that more than 50 are my Retirement Plan Games. Still the Craving for buying a PS5 is an itch difficult to get out of.
2. An M1 Apple
This is an expensive one as well thus more difficult to decide on one. Since the annouce of M1 processor and my Professor suggesting me to buy a mac to do Data Science instead of the Windows I am use to. I am actually confused between the two. Should I go for a Mac Mini which is equaly powerful as the Mac Book Pro using an M1 Processor.
3. Nintendo Switch (unpatched)
Since the time I learned that Nintendo switch can be homebrewed I wanted one my hand. I knew only the first generation can be modified without the use of a soildering skills that I do not have now. I wanted to try out the what all a small platformer can do with modifying its softwares
4. Back Massager
This is the one craving I am ready to give into. Spending at least 8 hours on chair in front of my system, this is the one thing I am eager to buy as soon as possible. I have see the cheaper model of Massaging Instrumentation at nearest Kmart and I guess this is the one on my bucketlist before Dec 2021. The craving started when I went to one of my freinds’ (MJ’s) house warming party and used a similar model kept on his dinning chair.
5. A portable Vaccume Cleaner
One of my household duty is to keep the house clearn or at least Vaccume it once a week. My current vaccume clearns is eons old and thus I wanted to upgrade it from past month. Though I am very keen to upgrade to a Codless vaccume cleaner but comparing its power and runntime only being 20 minutes, I would probably buy a Chorded one.
6. Go Pro Camera
I know I know my list is mostly of electric and electronic cravings but an Action Cam is one on my list from a very long time. Especially since the time I learned that the new Go_Pro Hero 9 has inbuild image stabilization and thus even if you walk and capure something, the video comes without any shakes even on 4k 60 frames per second.
7. Google Pixel 6
I wanted to upgrade my mobile(Moto G9 Plus) since last November which it got its first crack on its screen within first month of its purchase. The warrenty did not cover the glass damage and though its a good working mobile still it was not the first choice at the time of purchase. I have used a Pixel 3 and I am aware of the Google Phone performance thus would like to switch back to it as and when possible and not being heavy on my pocket.
8. iPad Pro
This is another latest crave arised when making Mathematics Videos on my Youtube Channle. I recently started a journey of Revisting the NCERT/CBSE mathematics books from Class 1 to 12 ( link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFRKyUlm9dA&list=PLyLjJEJ59imz19Zh6qZIG5tZoC9oSQwYP ) While expaling anything on camera, many times I feel like there should be something which I can write on to show what I am thinking while explaining any maths problem This lead to search of devices with Pen capture and finally I landed on Ipad Pro which can do the job along with other stuff.
9. Mirrorless Camera (Originaly Thought DSLR)
If/when I have a Go-Pro and Google Pixcel, I dont really need a good video capture device. But this list is not of the needs anyway. Thus I thought why not include the long awaited DSLR on my list. Currently the DSLR would be very heavy thus I switched on to the craving of possessing an Mirrorless with 4k 60 to 120 fps caputre and that is only possible in a camera ranging way above my pocket range. Cannon R5 or R6 are on the market that caters that “want”
10. 4k Laser Projector
It was either this or a 75 inch TV. But in house if we really want the Theater Kinda feeling then a 4K Laser project is something I would plan for when I will buy a house of my own.
All the images used in this post belong to their respecive creators fond on the web. My list could have been longer but currently all togher they have crossed my annual earning already. Thus even to think more I have to first expand my pocket or source of earning then dream upon making the Sand Castel.
If in your dream purchase list matches mine, please do write it on the comment section below. And if my list gets updated, either I will update this one with more items or just make another list next year.