The “Wants” but Not the “Needs”

Sitting, working or study at “home” I am daily bombared with many commercial adds. Tapping deep down to my insecurity or just touching the peak of my craving curve. These adds, target the basic choice of a person. Though I am learing Data Science and I am hopeful to be on the other side of the imaganary line where I will be making software and Data Analysis platforms that can predict a model or some behaviourial pattern. But currently on primitive side of the imaginary line, these “Wants” are of a big distraction.

Thus instead of giving on to those Wants” I am just making another list here with pictures of all the things I want, instead of the ones I actually need.

  1. Playstation Five PS5

Its been pending since the start of the year. Probably the lack of availabilty in the current market makes it more desirable. I currenlty have a PS4 and probaly more than 100 games. Actually exactly 121 Games (I just checked my list) and out of that more than 50 are my Retirement Plan Games. Still the Craving for buying a PS5 is an itch difficult to get out of.

Play Station Five PS5

2. An M1 Apple

This is an expensive one as well thus more difficult to decide on one. Since the annouce of M1 processor and my Professor suggesting me to buy a mac to do Data Science instead of the Windows I am use to. I am actually confused between the two. Should I go for a Mac Mini which is equaly powerful as the Mac Book Pro using an M1 Processor.

Mac M1 Machines

3. Nintendo Switch (unpatched)

Since the time I learned that Nintendo switch can be homebrewed I wanted one my hand. I knew only the first generation can be modified without the use of a soildering skills that I do not have now. I wanted to try out the what all a small platformer can do with modifying its softwares

Nintendo Switch with Atmosphere Installed in it

4. Back Massager

This is the one craving I am ready to give into. Spending at least 8 hours on chair in front of my system, this is the one thing I am eager to buy as soon as possible. I have see the cheaper model of Massaging Instrumentation at nearest Kmart and I guess this is the one on my bucketlist before Dec 2021. The craving started when I went to one of my freinds’ (MJ’s) house warming party and used a similar model kept on his dinning chair.

Back and Thigh Massager

5. A portable Vaccume Cleaner

One of my household duty is to keep the house clearn or at least Vaccume it once a week. My current vaccume clearns is eons old and thus I wanted to upgrade it from past month. Though I am very keen to upgrade to a Codless vaccume cleaner but comparing its power and runntime only being 20 minutes, I would probably buy a Chorded one.

I-Vac X20 Stick Vaccume Cleaner

6. Go Pro Camera

I know I know my list is mostly of electric and electronic cravings but an Action Cam is one on my list from a very long time. Especially since the time I learned that the new Go_Pro Hero 9 has inbuild image stabilization and thus even if you walk and capure something, the video comes without any shakes even on 4k 60 frames per second.

Go Pro Hero 9

7. Google Pixel 6

I wanted to upgrade my mobile(Moto G9 Plus) since last November which it got its first crack on its screen within first month of its purchase. The warrenty did not cover the glass damage and though its a good working mobile still it was not the first choice at the time of purchase. I have used a Pixel 3 and I am aware of the Google Phone performance thus would like to switch back to it as and when possible and not being heavy on my pocket.

Google Pixel 6

8. iPad Pro

This is another latest crave arised when making Mathematics Videos on my Youtube Channle. I recently started a journey of Revisting the NCERT/CBSE mathematics books from Class 1 to 12 ( link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFRKyUlm9dA&list=PLyLjJEJ59imz19Zh6qZIG5tZoC9oSQwYP ) While expaling anything on camera, many times I feel like there should be something which I can write on to show what I am thinking while explaining any maths problem This lead to search of devices with Pen capture and finally I landed on Ipad Pro which can do the job along with other stuff.

iPad Pro with Pen

9. Mirrorless Camera (Originaly Thought DSLR)

If/when I have a Go-Pro and Google Pixcel, I dont really need a good video capture device. But this list is not of the needs anyway. Thus I thought why not include the long awaited DSLR on my list. Currently the DSLR would be very heavy thus I switched on to the craving of possessing an Mirrorless with 4k 60 to 120 fps caputre and that is only possible in a camera ranging way above my pocket range. Cannon R5 or R6 are on the market that caters that “want”

Cannon R6

10. 4k Laser Projector

It was either this or a 75 inch TV. But in house if we really want the Theater Kinda feeling then a 4K Laser project is something I would plan for when I will buy a house of my own.

4k Laser Projector

All the images used in this post belong to their respecive creators fond on the web. My list could have been longer but currently all togher they have crossed my annual earning already. Thus even to think more I have to first expand my pocket or source of earning then dream upon making the Sand Castel.

If in your dream purchase list matches mine, please do write it on the comment section below. And if my list gets updated, either I will update this one with more items or just make another list next year.

Till then, be in touch…

See you on the other side !!!

Tapish Dongre

Untold Stories Post 81: THE BROKEN ENGINEER

My Engineering lifespan of four years was a journey along with roller-coaster of emotions.

Girls biologically wired to cope up with emotions, having this as their strong suit, could choose the practical decisions on their own.

Boys on the other hand needed a support group, which they even fail to admit that it is a support group.

The incidents I am quoting are not always alcohol induced, but alcohol did open up some strong men’s heart which left them to crying on the floor. I would not like to mention any
names of this article for the reason that I fail to get their permission yet to share their part of story. So these incidents only form my my point of view.

Scene 1:
First and second year of engineering everyone tries their best to accommodate and live with the new environment which they are forced into.
Not everyone is accustomed to live away form their respective parents.
At that time, may be due to my rebellious age I would love to live away from my parents and have less of a control of them over me.
But some of the boys were connected to their parents in a very very deep and complicated bond that only they could express.

I went to a house party.

Ya because in Engineering life, every day is Party.

Ohh ! I am sorry Every night is party and every day is a kind of sleepover.
In this party a new song got trending.

And with a very slow dial up or mobile internet connection at time this was downloaded the with high definition video of “YOU CAN PUT THAT BLAME OF ME”
by Ackon.
We watched the song once.
We watched the song twice.
and then thrice.
Goosebumps were running on the lyrics,

“Sorry for the times I left you home,

I was on the road and you were alone”

And all of a sudden may be the desi guy finally understood the English lyrics and started crying.
He just went on that he misses his mom and now want to just go home for good.
I was astonished to see such a strong personality breaking down in front of me and weeping, sitting outside of house, not bothering to observe the strange world which in constant caution he did before. I was not a emotional supporter and thus could not help the guy, but that day I was thankful that I am still living with my parents. And I was not sure what would be my go when I had to leave away. (*fast forward to year 2013 when I had to live alone, I did cry, but that story for some other time)

Scene 2:
This was just past the Final year Engineering life and I was invited to another party.

This time it was booze and chicken and what not in the house.

One of the reason was, though not by 9 to 5 jobs but street smart Engineers in their final year and beyond, learn their way to gain income through various objectionable mediums.
Those time the song, “Tera Pyaar Pyaar Pyaar Hooka Baar” form Khiladi 786 was released and I asked for if I can have Sheesha instead of drinking.
Truly speaking till this day I never like alcohol. I am just a social drinker who like to loose control once in a while.

Since I was not drinking I became the judge of two heavy drinkers of that group. The completion was who can have and handle maximum amount of alcohol.
One of the player was very dear friend of mine and other was a Super Senior.

“Super Senior” as if it is even a word.

But we use to believe anyone who is more than two academic
batches ahead of is a Super Senior.

They Drank almost one and half bottle of Whiskey “McDowell’s No. 1” and discussion turns to arguments and then crossed the stage of apologies. Finally the Super senior broke heavy.
He started crying out a loud, “What a waste of life we have become. Four Years of Engineering academic course and its been 7 years for me and still not completed these stupid fucking semesters. Still taking money from my parents. I should die of shame.”

That day I realised though outside we can pretend to be strong on our failures but inside the failures eat you out alive. And for an Engineer, the worst part is
taking money from parents. They internally feel loss of  self respect if they continue doing it after certain years. But in a non- induce stage wont admit it openly.
Dr. Phill calls this stage and behaviour as “Moochers” And I am sorry to admit that for more than 22 years of my life I was one. But that night I decided, doesn’t matter what,
I will find a job, I would clean someone’s house but will not live a Moochers life. (*fast forward, I still owe a lot of sum to my parents but I believe I am off the mooching ground)

Scene 3:
People say keep the best for the last.
But I would keep a very ordinary story to dilute the emotions we had in previous scenario.
I am not even evolved in this story. Thus presenting to you in the form I perceived it form the closest friend.
It was time of campus section. A process where companies come to University and take the brightest mind to work with them. That means for selected few, you will end up with a job right after you have completed your degree. Being the first batch in Biotechnology our college fail to create a carrier show for us. But with enough struggle manage to get one company to interview us.
(I was in a different state of India and focused that I need to perceive a higher education and thus decided not to for this campus event).
My friends who went there were sitting outside for hours before their interview and in contact with me by telephonic conversion through sms.
Only one or two people in that group were given adequate soft skill training about the interview.

The package was in the range of 8 to 12 thousand rupees per month. Which was definitely way too less than expectation of Engineering Graduate. People with soft skill taring have the idea of how to respond to the question “Are YOU happy with the SALARY package offered?”
And if you want that as your first job without having the necessary training for the job, the answer should be “YES”

But one candidate who knew this information started discussing outside, before the interview, and also influenced the interview seekers outside that the salary package offered is very low.
Lets all demand for making this salary package at least up to in the range of 16 to 20 thousand per month.
If we all demand for a higher salary, we will push the economy high and the company has to accept us with giving us an higher salary package.

At this point I would say, WOW ! and Excellent move. Forcing the company to actually provide the acknowledge pay rate to every employee and set the bar high.

Few hours later I was again dazzled by the information, that company only selected few candidates who said they are happy with the salary package they offered.
And rejected all who went against and demand more money to do this job with a pay raise.
The shocking part was, The candidate who influenced everyone to ask for raise actually said “YES” for the pay offered and got selected.

The lesson learned that day was, “THE DAY OF ENGINEERING ARE OVER” and “FRIENDSHIP VALUES HAVE BEEN CHANGED”

WELCOME TO THE NEW WORLD.

Untold Stories Post (UTSP) 80: Marvel vs DC = Fictional Neutral Post

Stories were, are and hopefully will be my passion that motivates me time to time.

With my previous mention on multiple occasions, this must have come across that in current generation of Fiction Wars, I am a super Marvel Fan.

This gives me a strange opportunity to randomly meet strangers and connect with them sharing the same love for stories.

In my understanding Marvel has reached up to that limit where ancient literature like “Ramayana and Mahabharata” would have reached.

The character depth, story cross connection, multiple language translation, huge roll over of currency and love are the common factors I could get comparing various literature and Marvel universe.

I even observed that there is No Particular GOOD or EVIL permanent state of a character.

Dead-pool being the Villain of X-Men series is now a Hero having his own franchise.

Venom being villain in Spider-man series is now a comparative Good character according to 2018 story line.

This was similar to Ravana begin the Villain of Ramayana but later fiction, more research and ongoing work presented him as a good  devotee of God (Not that bad Man then).

Krishna being the super hero, smiled as Gandhari’s son death and sentenced to internal curse. (Bad present inside Good)

I can comment more by comparing Greek Stories and Bible or Quran, but at last results the same purpose. Stories to teach a lesson, to inspire, to learn, to entertain, to fear, to laugh and to connect with similar or dissimilar mentalities over the globe (and hopefully beyond).

Yes UTSP is mostly about personal experience with day to day scenario, thus let me divert in the above comparison and tell you another story.

I was working in Sun-corp Stadium and I met a guy who was leading the food retail team on that particular day. We started talking about fiction stories and then he said, he is a DC fan thus he is waiting for AQUA MAN release this year.

I replied I am as eager as he is, but I am also interested in next edition of Infinity War (which is Marvel Based story-line).

Suddenly he was firm and said, I don’t watch Marvel movies BECAUSE I am DC fan. The discussion went on and on about Marvel and DC.

Late coming home I realized, Fuck the shit.. I love both Marvel and DC. Being one’s fan docent mean I hate the others.

Many days later when I was watching the 2018 Venom, I meat a Marvel fan who hated DC fictions up to an extent that he would not support even the release of AQUA MAN.

And the next step I am doing in this post might be controversial but pattern seems to be true at my current understanding.

I am trying to develop pattern or similarities between religion and fiction. (Both having its followers, preachers, as well as extremist)

More I met with people I gained info that People following Marvel in general avoid DC and vice a versa.
Similarly people following one religion or faith try to avoid lessons and practices from other. And Extremist even try to pin down the non-followers of their own kind.

The time I was most glad was, while meeting people who believe in Peaceful co-existence. The people who like to put Political, Racial, Linguistic and Religions barriers aside and share a Smile together.

Being Atheist (agnostic actually) and Religion neutral gave me access and acceptance to people from all religion. And being Fiction Neutral gave me the entertainment from all over the industry.

And thus I even hope to meet more and more people who are able to keep the FICTIONAL FOLLOWER barriers aside and give chance to be entertain from more and more and stories, let that be from DC, Marvel or even M. Night Shyamalan’s Unbreakable Universe.

Who knows I might create a new genre in future years to have a fan following. But in all case, Do love each other, and Keep each others happy. Let only the Fictional Characters Fight. 🙂 We as humans can co-exist.!!!!

#utsp #tapishdongre

Untold Story Post 79: Accepting Imperfection (ENGINEERING VERSION)

IMG_9480

In Year 2013 I came to Australia and the first ever Job I could land with was for Nikesh Patel in Hospitality Industry as a House Keeper in Oxygen Apartments Brisbane.
In the start I was ashamed to join the job as the fake “ENGINEERING PRIDE” was stopping me from accepting the reality of life.

Engineering Pride is most common stigma in India and that is because “ENGINEERING” is a reputed Degree, but way more Engineers get their Degree every year than the number of Engineering Jobs available.

Thus Engineers are Forced to work in a Industry where they had no prior knowledge or skills about the Industry. And Since no skills are installed in the Engineers they had to start with very low position with minimum wage jobs. Another common
thing Engineers do is to compare their success with the Top Notches Academic Student of their own batch and live in self Guilt of underachievement. These two forces of “low start” and “underachievement” along with the socio-logical pressure
coming from society accounts for “ENGINEERING PRIDE” self implying that, “the job offer in Hand is below my dignity to work”.

Thus in My case I was a Bachelors in Technology in Biotechnology and Housekeeper in Hospitality Industry basically means a clearer. Thus mentally it was me going down certain level of work ethics (which I had none to start with).

But when there was last $160 left in account and
a decision to make weather to pay the $155 Rent or Buy Bread for the week, working for the Job Offer in had was a no brainier choice. During those weeks I was so ashamed of myself that I decided not to declare what I was working as to my friends, relatives and even to my own family. It took me years to get out of the “Engineering Pride” and then set my life progress accepting the reality of life, learning more skills to gain different variety of jobs and keep uplifting yourself time to time.

In the mid year 2014 – 2015 I met with my 2nd boss Mazin Albassit, in the same Industry and fortunately same venue. And Since this time I had the skills and experience already, so convincing him to get the job offer was very easy than the initial struggle I had in year 2013.

Then came the second stage of learning work ethics which is called “KNOWING YOURSELF”

I remember in the start of days of his business days Mazin was so focused that he spent time to understand the working style of each and every staff he had. He concentrated and spent time for continuous improvement of every individual and whole team under his supervision. I sometimes still hear good stories about him that how he went out of the way to take a step further and help his staff when they needed of him.

One of the one to one meeting I had about self reflection changed the way and direction of the work culture I got exposed to. I remember this meeting word to word as if it had just happen yesterday.

He sat with me with a pen an paper, and explained to me how I would understand the concept of Industry where we were working at that stage. He drew a straight line in between two points saying “Thats an Ideal work position and working culture where only Robots can work. With 100 percent accuracy and consuming the least amount of time.” Then he draw a parabola meeting the same starting and ending point, saying, “this is your working style, you want to achieve the perfection and therefore consume a tremendous amount of time to achieve that.” Then he drew a Diagonal line from the starting point to a random interference in my parabola which dint even touch the ending point. He continued, “You are a human. Learn to accept that. This is where I want to you work. Consume a moderate amount of time and finish all task in had for the day. Sometimes it is OK to forgive yourself for not achieving the perfection you aimed for. We all will achieve the Perfection one day with more practice and more and persistence, but today is the day where if you invest all the time one task you may never be able to complete all what you have in your hand for the day. Thus believe in yourself and learn to accept minute imperfections in life as well as your work”

The results of that meeting dint get immediate affect but eventually I was able to absorb the learning value of what was been taught to me that day. Since childhood in India academically we are so forced and focused to achieve the 100% result in life that we fail to accept or even appropriate the imperfection.

Your academic life goes in aiming for getting 100 out of 100 marks the field that you fail to observe that only one or two students in each batch actually made to nearest 90% of that academic culture and rest all are between range of some of self guilt, jealousy, comparative nature, and non acceptance of reality of their result.
In our minds the person achieving nearest to perfection becomes a hero that we fail to support our own mates who couldn’t even pass the examination. I am not demeaning the high scores for their academic excellence but I am just appreciating the existence and acknowledgement of all the students who could not come under the perfection bracket.

The same academic culture we try to implement in our working ethics and thus live in the same guilt of not achieving perfection or comparing our misery with the top notches of your surrounding who could achieve that perfection. Thus Knowing, acknowledging and accepting yourself is important and accepting imperfection is way more important.

With the Guidance in my work culture, I definitely did not transform into Steve Jobs or ended up having the urge/need for end to end control and coming up with a great product like “APPLE”. But, I was and I am “Tapish Dongre” somewhere in between Steve Jobs and Bill Gates work ethics and positive that one day I will make a recognisable contribution in the world.

Only because of past experience and learning with different teachers in life, when I was given a position to run a team, I could accept the imperfection among individuals in my team
without getting mad on my team members or myself, learned to move on, complete the task and be ready for(if) I get another day in hand.

With this hope I sign off believing in Mazin Albassit words that, “Yes one day we will achieve perfection but today is the day to accept who you are and complete the task for the day.” You may never have a tommrow.

Have a Great Imperfect Day Guys
#tapishdongre #utsp

UTSP 78: The Thin Light Air

 

This Story won’t teach anything Good. In fact it is the opposite of Good. Thus not sharing names for this story at all.

In India, a Holiday is celebrated called “Holi” which is festival of Colours for Kids, Fire & Crackers for Young Adult and Food, sweet and drinks for the Adults. But another class of age group comes in between the Responsible Adult and Young Adults who celebrates this festival in unique manner than others listed above.

So weeks before this festival in the year 2009-10, I was in mid of my Engineering and in those days living away form the family gave extra freedom that give you wings. I did not have a television neither a laptop on those days so whenever I feel extremely bored I use to hit off to my neighbour’s house where bunch of more College mates use to live.

They had a 19 inch CRT display TV and in those days that was enough to keep more people inside the house than outside. One such night I went to their house and the house was unexpectedly quite. Only two guys chilling out and watching news with mid loud volume. We never watched News unless something exciting is going around and Zee/Star News people are presenting the story with extra spice than its required.

Suddenly both the guys started laughing very slowly.
I watched there was nothing funny on the news channel…still I thought let me continue to watch what’s the funny thing about?
Then the two guys started laughing more..

I imagine and asked “are you guys laughing on me??? I am looking odd??”

I looked myself in the mirror hanging on the cracked wall, and saw I looked awesome. I had the confidence of a stud that if I go out and say hi to girls outside at least 8 out of 10 will reply me back.

I said, “fuck you guys”.

They started laughing more and more.

I enquired what’s wrong with you what are you laughing at?
In the mean time they laughed so hard that they couldn’t even listen what I was talking.

They laughed uncontrollably.

I said screw you guys and I left the House. Saying “fucking crazy people.”

Weeks later I came to know they had their first “ joint” on that day.

After that I wanted to know what is the feeling like? Why they couldn’t stop laughing and curiosity shifted from what the were laughing on to, to what I would be laughing at when I have my First.

Later the same year on my Birthday I did have my First Joint. I remember I was laughing so hard for no reason and my cheek was like hanged on laughter mode that it hurt-ed to bring back to normal mode. I fought with my Girlfriend for no reason, and next day work up with a huge Hangover and Hunger to eat more and more. Ya everyone tells you not to smoke weed, no one tells you the side effect.

The end of Engineering had series of fortunate and unfortunate but unforgettable events, and as I said nothing good can be learned from this post and in fact that post is opposite of good. But opposite of good doesn’t necessary means bad. It’s not always white and black and sometimes a grey area in the story and life too. (Apart from where I saw my house door moving everywhere and I couldn’t find the way out 😉 )

So by my personal experience I would say that Drug Abuse is definitely bad, but if you know your limit and have control over your risk factors then getting high on a small dosage is not extremely bad either.

Story about the two guys who got high on my neighbour house is, for one who could controlled it got in a stable life and made the most out of it, the other one who could not, unfortunately lost his place of residence, lost his continuity of education for a while but still getting back on his carrier as of year 2018. But I am sure they both have interesting versions of their story when they were high.

Signing off for now
Ex Stoner (or future ex – stoner)
And Yours truly

#tapishdongre #utsp #engineeringlife #vip

Untold Stories Post 76: The Book

 

Only For You Sanmit Ambekar, this will be small post.

So on a random day, I walked down the platform number 5 at Central Railways Station Brisbane, Queensland, Australia to catch Ipswich lane which will lead me to my home in Toowong.
There were more than 50 people waiting for train on either side, but being writer myself I gazed upon a reader. A girl in her late 20’s, blond, slim in a blue dress with lily flower print on it, not covering her legs even when there is winter here.
She had a massive, book on her lap and was reading it with a constant gaze that the outside world dose not matter to her anymore.

I looked on display screen and it says that my train will be arriving in next 7 minutes. I know looking back to girl would be awkward as one you don’t stare at random girls even if they are cute, especially when you are married yourself 😉 .
And two that while you are watching someone there is always a possibility that someone is watching you. I hope the later someone is not a teen with his mobile camera ‘on’ shooting a per-vi-writer cum observer before he publishes his UTSP the following week.

But curiosity killed the cat and my eyes gazed back to the reader girl. I have no clue what she was reading, but I saw a tear coming down her left eye. She was crying while reading a book.!!!!!

Just in that moment, time froze for me. I went on a day dream to appreciate the artist who wrote the book. I still don’t know the book and I still don’t know the writer either but I could imagine the power of the words that a human can
fill in the white pages that can create an emotional turbulence in another human. Words are like power used in a right way can connect to you, doesn’t matter you are sitting right next to me, or oceans apart or even separated by time or generations.

On that frozen time I thought about myself, that would I ever be able to reach up to that level that I can create any emotion impact on my readers. The Tear being a powerful expression of emotion, but joy, fear, anger, anticipation, disappointment, and other various emotions including the “puzzle” what Sanmit Ambekar might be feeling that the story was promised small, but this guy doesn’t seem to stop writing at all.

I wondered would I ever be able to create an emotion with my writing, and if I could, that day I would consider myself paving my first brick in the world of successful writers.

But til then Keep enjoying small stories I write, and Sanmit Ambekar, I cant promise the next one would be a small story, but I am sure it will be an interesting one.

#utsp #tapishdongre

P.S: I did catch my train on time
P.S: The girl closed the book and walked up to the same trian as me.
P.S: If the girl in Blue reads my this post, could you please tell me the name of the book???

Untold Stories Post 75: Some Thing Like a Phenomenon

I have literally stopped writing UTSP a month before I was planning my trip to India in June 2017. Thus I thought If I would like to start writing again, I should start where I left. This UTSP is a personal page from my dairy written on 26th June 2017.

If this is the first time you are reading my written Untold Stories, then you can catch the previous one’s on my website tapishdongre.com and you can get all the updates of my future work by liking my page on fb. So Lets Begin….again…..

Personal Insecurity : a FORGOTTEN FEELING

This has happen before, and the long forgotten feeling came back.
In our engineering days, there was a phenomenon which use to occur again and again and again. And when so many again are used in a single sentence, its time to give the phenomenon a name, and the name is PARTIAL CONCENTRATION.

Anu (now my wife) and I use to have multiple telephonic conversation in our engineering days, Thanks to wireless mobile communication technology that love stories in early 2000’s had the advantage to verbal communicate frequently. And adding cheery to on top of the cake were “HAPPY HOURS” by the network company called AIRTEL, NIGHT CALLING by IDEA and 24×7 free calling by RELIANCE CDMA.

But though technology is aiding to the love stories, the human mind, heart and emotions are more or less the same, just expressed differently than compared to love stories years before us.

Getting back to cream of the topic that when Anu use to call me, she mostly had a situational busy surrounding to make a call. This aided in a mental barrier in the conversation which did not go frictionlessly. The surrounding mostly consisted of her hostel mates, colleagues or most importantly her parents.

For example if Anu asked me a question in a telephonic conversation, and while its my chance to reply to that question, she use to immediately start guiding anyone else present in her surroundings. And then when I asked, “are you listening to me or the other person?” Very smoothly she use to reply, “yes I am listening to you only”.
But then on asking more, she had no clue what did i just informed her.

And for counter example, if I am asking Anu something, then due to the Partial Concentration, she did not actually listened to what I asked. And thus made me repeat the same dialogues I spoke again and again which boiled my blood more. Her easy escape was to blame it on Network Companies, thus All network companies, if you feel why I am so much angry while calling customer care may be because someone is saying blaming their fault on you.

The overall feeling of this situation is that I use to feel that the person in her surrounding is more important than me. But on her denial to accept this theory, I use to urge her to give full focus on me. She use to say yes, but in next minute or two, she would again start replying to people in her surroundings. Thus this re-occurrence of situation even after correction was termed as “PARTIAL CONCENTRATION”.

The human mind works differently that emotions are concerned. When logically human mind asks for attention and is happy with what is being provided, it stops to wonder. But when mind is unhappy it works more in various directions, where it probably shouldn’t have gone. Thus in these conversations I use to ask Anu to avoid PARTIAL CONCENTRATION while talking with me. She use to agree but then follow the holy ritual path of Partial Concentration.

Then my mind wanted to test the theory what it has formed already. Dose the person in her surrounding is really important than me that she is giving importance to guide, where the sugar is? or has the water filled in toilet tank?, rather than talking about the present topic which discussion was going on.

While mind is buzy in formulating equation, the emotions are working on a very different and parallel scale. Instead of discussing the current issue of being upset, emotions directly changed from a state of ‘like’ to a state of “anger”, from a state of ‘patience’ to a sate of “frustration”, from a state of ‘abundance’ to a state of “dominance”.

Instead of expressing what I feel (which she would not listen due to the Partial concentration phenomenon already) I use to get angry on her and shout on her. And mostly assume the surrounding as my enemy who m I have to share my precious newly found love with.

This use to cause a harsh conversation and then we use to fight more and keep the phone down, sometimes with more force that collecting part backs and switching it on again was a matter of more difficulty than our relation itself.

With years of being together and so, called understanding each other, I assume the feeling doesn’t exist anymore. But as people say, GHOST OF PAST NEVER DIE. In the marriage occasion, when today ANU is kept away from me, buzy in various pooja a day before marriage, she called me at 1.30pm, but even in that call instead of actually talking with me, she started to talk with her mother and father in the background. The years long feeling of self named phenomenon came back. The insecurity that weather the person next is more important or me came back.

We fought and disconnected the phone, did not destroy it this time as they were earned by the money coming out of our own hard work. An hour later I received her call again, asking “what the matter really was?”

There is another theory that with years the relationship gets stronger, or we tend to understand each other more. But seldom this theory is true, I know with years passing the courage to face each other increases and if going on a progressive route the relationship becomes open or close with the passage of time. Former in our case, she asked “what is the real issue with you?” and I replied, “I am really feeling insecure, as if the person surrounding you is more important to you than me itself”

This time she replied, “My love, I am with everyone and this ritual is important to me as I dreamed of it from my childhood. And there is no chance someone is taking your place in my heart. Love will not have a comparison between you and someone but it is abundance that you have given me that I am here to spread it on behalf of you.”

This was an instance which satisfied both mind and emotion to a calm phase. With years, the relationship dose not get stronger, but we have the courage to tell each other the simple truths in life which we lied and dogged in the beginning of the relationship.

Neither I was able to express before I was insecure, nor she had the courage to tell the truth that yes the surrounding holds a momentarily important place. And when these small truth came out, a fearless comfortable zone was created which people misunderstood that relationship gets stronger with time.

Today I would say, that the self discovered phenomenon of “PARTIAL CONCENTRATION” still exist but we found a way to overcome the insecurity part of the equation.

And till we keep discovering a “fearless comfortable zone” in different aspects of our/any relationship, I am sure the relationship will survive all the odds in life 🙂

#tapishdongre #utsp

Untold Stories Post 72: Inception of Brilliance

(from writing weekly to writing monthly now)

Because My father had a transferable job, I was able to experience what I experienced. I always cursed the transfers but at last I am thankful I had them in past.

Recently The Popularity of Cursing Education System in India is Increasing Day by Day. Mostly the Education system in Primary/Secondary Schools along with the most popular mass production of Engineers in India. The discussion which was once local talk of diss-stress among school mates or pass-outs is now been done Globally. Seriously in Jan 2017 (shooted on very different times) I could find 6 presentation on very popular TED talks by very successful people in their respective field pointing out, researching, digging and explaining why the education system in India is worse.

Various presenters also explained In-spite of Poor Education system, Indian Brains create Excellence when placed abroad. This post is of-course not explaining those points as you can find them on TED Talk by browsing on Google/Youtube or TED website itself. Untold stories posted by me at least are more about the learnt experience by individuals on very small detail topic which is untold because it is either so small or extremely simple that mostly remains unnoticed or mind just ignores it.

My school days in Kendriya Vidyalaya, Eddumailaram were though struggling, but were very different than what I observed and experienced in other KV’s attended by me. Constantly we were told something and fed into our unconscious mind that “KV STUDENTS ARE THE BEST” On a random day the school Principal would take a mic and explain we have the best resources for you and we will always be working hard to get you the latest technologies. This school by location was in a very aloof area, I mean to say there were not enough competitions where we could interact or cross compare and confirm that what our Principal is saying is true. We observed our surrounding which looked clean, technologically high, teachers wise well resourced and thus we believed what ever is told to us is true. The next things was that we learned sharing, and thus even if 1 student achieved higher goals which were definitely impossible to achieve by all as everyone had different talent. But by the law of sharing that person was made to stand on a stage, appreciated and then asked to share the victory with everyone. The students being obedient and non selfish that time use to share their victory. And instead of Reporting one student from this School scored high or gained the victory, the reports were made that KV EDDUMAILARAM HAD WON,i.e including all teaching non teaching staff and student had won the award. We were inside the Inception of Brilliance. We all believed we are brilliant students and thus worked hard to achieve excellence.

After that when I moved to other KV’s again due to my father’s transferable job, I met people and teachers who would quote, ‘…….this is the reason why people say KV school students are dumb.” “………. this is the reason why we don’t have enough technology and resources”
That was the first time I learned or believed that yes these are the reasons why we are dumb or week. But years spent in KV YEddumailaram kept my mind strong that We are Brilliant Students, only here there might be lack of resources..

After years of this incidents I forgot all the points I momentary believed to be true. On a phone call with my mother Tejashri Milind, she quoted a recent appreciation that “Even with limited resources, government schools education and non investing a huge sum of money in private expensive schooling your both kids(me and my sis Kritika Milind) turned out to be excelling in their respective fields”

That moment was like a Reality Distortion for me, I googled some KV pictures and found, that Infra structure of the Schools I studied was worse. I could see now the broken benches I used to sit 10 years ago are still there. Some School Teachers who may or may not be excellent in teaching/preaching are still in Board Websites of KV Group. We had only two computer labs having 6 to 10 working computers and 32 classes full of approx 40 students to use that resources. YES EDUCATION SYSTEM, TEST, PRESSURE, MUG UP SYSTEM, GIVING CHANCE ONLY TO TOP 1% HIGH SCORERS and KILLING THE DREAMS OF other 99% is a system which will fail in this advancing world which appreciates all possibilities.

But one teacher/one person in a life time, who momentary can sow a seed in a Child’s mind, who can create an Inception that the child, every child is Brilliant is what makes people Excel throughout the world.

Today I dont even Remember the name of Principal but I appreciate the wonder he Created which kept me and the whole school going.
Hope Every Student Meets a Teacher who have the power to create this Inception….

Untold Stories 71: Dialogues From The Past

As 2016 Ended and 2017 Begun, I have completed 27 Years 3 Months and 26 Days on this planet. I have no memory of How I was born, may be I should have asked my parents for more background stories, but I remember some of the dialogues personally spoken to me by the people whom I came in contact with in these years of social learning. So here is a List of Top The of them and a short Incident about how it happened and what did I learn.

  1. Maza Madka Voie, Me Kai Karu (Translantion form Marathi to English, Its my pot and its my wish whatever to do with it). Nitin R DongreWhile Breaking an Modearately Expensive Earthen Pot in front of all in anger this dialogue was used by Nitin R Dongre who is eldest paternal uncle to me by family of birth. Though Frightened in childhood by his actions I learned you can do whatever you wish to the things that belong to you, but to do that you need to earn them first.
  2. Think Big, Be the Biggest and Best Cobbler if you like to. Sanja R Dongre. My 3rd paternal Uncle said this while I was polishing a shoe and thinking low of myself at the age of 6, and he motivated me that if you think big, you will achieve big, so never aim small in whatever you are doing in life.
  3. Paristati, Paristati (Situations Situations) Nevedita R Dongre. I heard the dialogues complaining and escaping from things, coming from my paternal uncle’s wife. She was always blaming all the fault of their misery on situations and living an unhappy life as much as I could observe. I learned never to blame things on situations and take actions while modifying you plan as according to how the environment changes.
  4. Bairi Zali Manun Aiku Nai Yet (I am deaf so I cant Hear You) Old Granny Khobragade. Even after shouting instructions to My Great Granny of Maternal side, she said in her end of days that I am becoming deaf thus I cant hear you properly. I learned that your body is not going to be healthy for ever thus live every day of your life fullest till your body is giving favourable conditions to enrich your living.
  5. Dada Me tuza Sathi Kahi nai karu shaklo (“Dada” meaning Big Brother-a person’s nick name, “I couldn’t do anything for you”) Milind R Dongre. After his father’s death my father use to use this dialogue many a times during the day. I observed that while grandfather was alive my father lived his own life and tried monthly visiting his own father which were frustrating for me. But there were several moments where my father was angry on his father for the past deeds he did. Overall I learned that if you want to do something for someone or your decision is not do anything for anyone, the moment to decide is now. It now or never as regret is an emptiness which cannot be filled no matter what.
  6. My father is not dead, He was Assassinated. Nitin R Dongre. Deducting form the 1 year sever illness due to a head injury, my Grandfather died.  Medically it was a natural death but some said that he stopped eating food to save his wife from the pain to do his daily chore as for 1 whole year he couldn’t move at all. To this day various members of family have various theory of his death. A strong statement of his assignation in front of everyone present around the funeral ceremony by Nitin my Uncle depicts that human will believe  in the theories and knowledge he/she is having. Thus my learning form this dialogue was to expand and expose you mind of education to as vast boundaries as you can. Even if you are going to die believing an Inception, let that be a huge one.
  7. If you are born you are Invited. Ali Raza Cheema. Hesitant to go to an uninvited party I was not sure that I should attend a birthday party whom I barely know. But going to a Australian Island for the first time ignited a spark of curiosity in me. Thus I went to the party anyway. I learned that the statement is true, if you are born you are invited to see the beauty of the nature, meet unknown people and know the world more.
  8. You will Do it. I know that. P. Anand Rajsheker After 3rd consecutive attempt to write CSIR and examination to apply for PhD in India, I lost all hopes and then my professor said this world to me, YOU WILL DO IT, I KNOW THAT. I did that examination again and failed again, then wrote again and failed. I did not know that examination is/was worth my time or not but I liked the trust someone kept in me to push me forward, a trust which I never received from my teachers before. Thus may be I will write the exam again in future years or complete PhD by any other means. But I learned that trust is a strong motivational force.
  9. I cant Imagine you as a father, I just cant Ali Raza Cheema After observing my all time childish behaviour my Roommate and very close friend of that time in year 2013-14 said, I really cant imagine you taking care of another newborn, you are a child of your own thinking. I dint learn anything but that point made me think on the topic what kind of father I want to be and will I ever succeed. I guess I have to wait and find out…
  10. Gandiwar lat Marala Lagte Yechi. (YOU NEED A KICK ON YOUR ASS SO THAT YOU CAN UNDERSTAND) Raghunath P Dongre I was not close to my Grandfather at all, but most of my strong memories are of when he was lying on the bed for 1 year after the head injury of his. I tried my best but could never understand what he wanted to say. His vocal chords made very funny noises instead of really saying any meaningful sentences. He use to regain his memory for a very short period of time and then forget everything, even who you are or who he himself is. I was never hesitant to do any of his work while he was in that condition. My own brain was adjusting the quotient of humanity vs scientific curiosity of my grandfather’s condition. I had the image of an well educated as well as M.A.L L B advocate level of literate man lying on a bed with no memory of what ever he studied throughout his life. Then one day when I was not really able to understand what he wanted to say, I was exposed to the worse Marathi language swearing coming from an educated grandfather who never used such words before in front of anyone, at least not in front of his grandchildren. That was shocking as well as an eye opener for me that the white collar fake image he had for the whole life is been shattered by just removing a part of his memory. Thus I learned and decided to try not to have a double face life and accept the both good and bad in me. Most important, never portray only one side of your image as both the positive and negative qualities I have, make me as ME.

Enjoy Your Year Guys. Though I did not achieve something today but I guess 1st Jan 2017 was the most productive day of my life, I learned a lot and am eager to learn more throughout the year.

Happy New Year to ALL

 

#tapishdongre #utsp

 

 

 

Untold Stories 70: Is there Baby Yet?

 

In around the year 2010-2011, my friend Bharatlal Choudhary had started a new hobby of reading books and actually implementing the strategies he read in those book to practice in his life and we being his social surrounding were treated as his experimental specimens.

After reading an article about “Positive Peer Pressure” he explained it to everyone what the theory said, “Peer Pressure isn’t always bad, infact instead of writing a GOAL on a paper and never see it for rest of your life, its better to tell it to your friends loudly. The way human mind and conversation’s are concerned, your friends and social surrounding will keep reminding you of the Goals by constantly asking if you have achieved it or not? Sometimes you will feel motivated sometime insulted but you will have a live time target reminders and the peer pressure that will guide you in completing your GOAL”

The Idea when expressed for the fist time seemed really stupid, but in those days we tried every experiment possible to use the time we saved from Bunking(not going) the University. He stated his first goal that he would buy a motorcycle Bajaj Pulsar 220cc by the end of next year. Telling you the result in advance: he failed very badly to meet the dead line, I dint mean to say he dint try enough because I have seen myself him working hard for the Goal he stated. But when analysing the whole situation, the theory worked. During the whole time of the experiment and even after some months later his social surrounding including myself asked him several time “how the work to achieve your goal is going?”

After that our life began in different directions and I almost forgot that he still uses this theory to achieve most of his goal though first one failed. And this time, he meets his deadline and he did achieved most of his Goals.

Human mind today is so self centred that most of us dont try enough to know whats going around with others life, but this self centred mind also have a positive effect that we keep telling others what we did in past and what are our aims for future. The next time someone we meet again whom we have had conversation in past reminds us of some the words we spoke to them and again the theory of Peer Pressure seemed to be working.

I could have forgotten about the Peer Pressure Theory story until I got remained due to current two situations…

One of my current friend and a co-work said in a very jolly mode before signing off from work that Mate, I am singing off taking break and me and my husband will be starting to put full efforts in making a baby. By start of 2017 I want to have my own baby’ were her words. After that every-time I meet her the involuntary response comes in my brain to clear the curiosity and I end up asking, “IS there A Baby Yet????”

The second situation occurred that I keep telling my current co workers and friends that want to pursue PhD in Plant Biotechnology. That must be a dominant part of my conversation that even months after I met someone in a party a night before, people still asked me, “How is your search for PhD is going?” The peer pressure of these questions will surely puts me sad mood momentary but encourages me to apply more places and find options to achieve a PhD in near future.

Try the Peer-Pressure Theory yourself, and I will try if I could resist in asking, “Is there a Baby Yet????”

#tapishdongre #utsp