UTSP 78: The Thin Light Air

 

This Story won’t teach anything Good. In fact it is the opposite of Good. Thus not sharing names for this story at all.

In India, a Holiday is celebrated called “Holi” which is festival of Colours for Kids, Fire & Crackers for Young Adult and Food, sweet and drinks for the Adults. But another class of age group comes in between the Responsible Adult and Young Adults who celebrates this festival in unique manner than others listed above.

So weeks before this festival in the year 2009-10, I was in mid of my Engineering and in those days living away form the family gave extra freedom that give you wings. I did not have a television neither a laptop on those days so whenever I feel extremely bored I use to hit off to my neighbour’s house where bunch of more College mates use to live.

They had a 19 inch CRT display TV and in those days that was enough to keep more people inside the house than outside. One such night I went to their house and the house was unexpectedly quite. Only two guys chilling out and watching news with mid loud volume. We never watched News unless something exciting is going around and Zee/Star News people are presenting the story with extra spice than its required.

Suddenly both the guys started laughing very slowly.
I watched there was nothing funny on the news channel…still I thought let me continue to watch what’s the funny thing about?
Then the two guys started laughing more..

I imagine and asked “are you guys laughing on me??? I am looking odd??”

I looked myself in the mirror hanging on the cracked wall, and saw I looked awesome. I had the confidence of a stud that if I go out and say hi to girls outside at least 8 out of 10 will reply me back.

I said, “fuck you guys”.

They started laughing more and more.

I enquired what’s wrong with you what are you laughing at?
In the mean time they laughed so hard that they couldn’t even listen what I was talking.

They laughed uncontrollably.

I said screw you guys and I left the House. Saying “fucking crazy people.”

Weeks later I came to know they had their first “ joint” on that day.

After that I wanted to know what is the feeling like? Why they couldn’t stop laughing and curiosity shifted from what the were laughing on to, to what I would be laughing at when I have my First.

Later the same year on my Birthday I did have my First Joint. I remember I was laughing so hard for no reason and my cheek was like hanged on laughter mode that it hurt-ed to bring back to normal mode. I fought with my Girlfriend for no reason, and next day work up with a huge Hangover and Hunger to eat more and more. Ya everyone tells you not to smoke weed, no one tells you the side effect.

The end of Engineering had series of fortunate and unfortunate but unforgettable events, and as I said nothing good can be learned from this post and in fact that post is opposite of good. But opposite of good doesn’t necessary means bad. It’s not always white and black and sometimes a grey area in the story and life too. (Apart from where I saw my house door moving everywhere and I couldn’t find the way out 😉 )

So by my personal experience I would say that Drug Abuse is definitely bad, but if you know your limit and have control over your risk factors then getting high on a small dosage is not extremely bad either.

Story about the two guys who got high on my neighbour house is, for one who could controlled it got in a stable life and made the most out of it, the other one who could not, unfortunately lost his place of residence, lost his continuity of education for a while but still getting back on his carrier as of year 2018. But I am sure they both have interesting versions of their story when they were high.

Signing off for now
Ex Stoner (or future ex – stoner)
And Yours truly

#tapishdongre #utsp #engineeringlife #vip

Untold Stories 71: Dialogues From The Past

As 2016 Ended and 2017 Begun, I have completed 27 Years 3 Months and 26 Days on this planet. I have no memory of How I was born, may be I should have asked my parents for more background stories, but I remember some of the dialogues personally spoken to me by the people whom I came in contact with in these years of social learning. So here is a List of Top The of them and a short Incident about how it happened and what did I learn.

  1. Maza Madka Voie, Me Kai Karu (Translantion form Marathi to English, Its my pot and its my wish whatever to do with it). Nitin R DongreWhile Breaking an Modearately Expensive Earthen Pot in front of all in anger this dialogue was used by Nitin R Dongre who is eldest paternal uncle to me by family of birth. Though Frightened in childhood by his actions I learned you can do whatever you wish to the things that belong to you, but to do that you need to earn them first.
  2. Think Big, Be the Biggest and Best Cobbler if you like to. Sanja R Dongre. My 3rd paternal Uncle said this while I was polishing a shoe and thinking low of myself at the age of 6, and he motivated me that if you think big, you will achieve big, so never aim small in whatever you are doing in life.
  3. Paristati, Paristati (Situations Situations) Nevedita R Dongre. I heard the dialogues complaining and escaping from things, coming from my paternal uncle’s wife. She was always blaming all the fault of their misery on situations and living an unhappy life as much as I could observe. I learned never to blame things on situations and take actions while modifying you plan as according to how the environment changes.
  4. Bairi Zali Manun Aiku Nai Yet (I am deaf so I cant Hear You) Old Granny Khobragade. Even after shouting instructions to My Great Granny of Maternal side, she said in her end of days that I am becoming deaf thus I cant hear you properly. I learned that your body is not going to be healthy for ever thus live every day of your life fullest till your body is giving favourable conditions to enrich your living.
  5. Dada Me tuza Sathi Kahi nai karu shaklo (“Dada” meaning Big Brother-a person’s nick name, “I couldn’t do anything for you”) Milind R Dongre. After his father’s death my father use to use this dialogue many a times during the day. I observed that while grandfather was alive my father lived his own life and tried monthly visiting his own father which were frustrating for me. But there were several moments where my father was angry on his father for the past deeds he did. Overall I learned that if you want to do something for someone or your decision is not do anything for anyone, the moment to decide is now. It now or never as regret is an emptiness which cannot be filled no matter what.
  6. My father is not dead, He was Assassinated. Nitin R Dongre. Deducting form the 1 year sever illness due to a head injury, my Grandfather died.  Medically it was a natural death but some said that he stopped eating food to save his wife from the pain to do his daily chore as for 1 whole year he couldn’t move at all. To this day various members of family have various theory of his death. A strong statement of his assignation in front of everyone present around the funeral ceremony by Nitin my Uncle depicts that human will believe  in the theories and knowledge he/she is having. Thus my learning form this dialogue was to expand and expose you mind of education to as vast boundaries as you can. Even if you are going to die believing an Inception, let that be a huge one.
  7. If you are born you are Invited. Ali Raza Cheema. Hesitant to go to an uninvited party I was not sure that I should attend a birthday party whom I barely know. But going to a Australian Island for the first time ignited a spark of curiosity in me. Thus I went to the party anyway. I learned that the statement is true, if you are born you are invited to see the beauty of the nature, meet unknown people and know the world more.
  8. You will Do it. I know that. P. Anand Rajsheker After 3rd consecutive attempt to write CSIR and examination to apply for PhD in India, I lost all hopes and then my professor said this world to me, YOU WILL DO IT, I KNOW THAT. I did that examination again and failed again, then wrote again and failed. I did not know that examination is/was worth my time or not but I liked the trust someone kept in me to push me forward, a trust which I never received from my teachers before. Thus may be I will write the exam again in future years or complete PhD by any other means. But I learned that trust is a strong motivational force.
  9. I cant Imagine you as a father, I just cant Ali Raza Cheema After observing my all time childish behaviour my Roommate and very close friend of that time in year 2013-14 said, I really cant imagine you taking care of another newborn, you are a child of your own thinking. I dint learn anything but that point made me think on the topic what kind of father I want to be and will I ever succeed. I guess I have to wait and find out…
  10. Gandiwar lat Marala Lagte Yechi. (YOU NEED A KICK ON YOUR ASS SO THAT YOU CAN UNDERSTAND) Raghunath P Dongre I was not close to my Grandfather at all, but most of my strong memories are of when he was lying on the bed for 1 year after the head injury of his. I tried my best but could never understand what he wanted to say. His vocal chords made very funny noises instead of really saying any meaningful sentences. He use to regain his memory for a very short period of time and then forget everything, even who you are or who he himself is. I was never hesitant to do any of his work while he was in that condition. My own brain was adjusting the quotient of humanity vs scientific curiosity of my grandfather’s condition. I had the image of an well educated as well as M.A.L L B advocate level of literate man lying on a bed with no memory of what ever he studied throughout his life. Then one day when I was not really able to understand what he wanted to say, I was exposed to the worse Marathi language swearing coming from an educated grandfather who never used such words before in front of anyone, at least not in front of his grandchildren. That was shocking as well as an eye opener for me that the white collar fake image he had for the whole life is been shattered by just removing a part of his memory. Thus I learned and decided to try not to have a double face life and accept the both good and bad in me. Most important, never portray only one side of your image as both the positive and negative qualities I have, make me as ME.

Enjoy Your Year Guys. Though I did not achieve something today but I guess 1st Jan 2017 was the most productive day of my life, I learned a lot and am eager to learn more throughout the year.

Happy New Year to ALL

 

#tapishdongre #utsp

 

 

 

Untold Stories 63: Incident Report….!!!

 

It is unfortunate that I wast not able to watch the end scene for the movie Star Trek Beyond properly. Its not that the movie was not interesting or the Aircon of United Cinemas Eldorado was not working on Tuesday a fortnight ago, but, something more interesting happened in the theater that I had to pause the screening for a while and continue.

Me and my wife were having an argument of watching two movies in a row, own being the Star Trek who’s tickets I already bought and the next one was suppose to be “Lights OUT” just after the Star Treak.
Inside the theater towards the ending, instead of Lights OUT the Management has to switch the Lights of the theater. I dont know what really happened before this scene I am describing that lead to this scene but I saw two Grown ass fighting in the last row of Cinema. I was just 3 rows ahead of them.
It was not cat and mouse fight but like a real slam down. I would go to an entertainment center and pay to watch that fight kinda fight. The first guy blocked the second guy’s punch coming to his face and then in return gave 4 to 5 fist very fast on his stomach and lower abdomen. I thought the 1st guy had some lessons in Boxing to do that. But the second guy though not Asian took an martial art move. He used the blocking of the first punch as a place to hold grip, turned himself around the 1st guy after absorbing the 4 to 5 stomach punches from him and then wrapped himself around the 1st man’s neck. He locked his elbow to the 1st guy’s neck that the 1st guy could not move at all. I wish I would be judge of this fight but then someone form audience shouted “Someone please call Security”.

I repeated that dialogue on my head and the answer came, “Fuck !, I am the Security, though I am not on my job but Security was/is my profession.” I took my move toward’s the fight whereas I remember my wife stopping me not to. In that short duration and after watching their profession fight moves I have calculated that this fight is way way beyond my league. I was also taught in Ranvir Minhas and Sunny Minhas‘s Security Academy that do not touch a fight which is way beyond your capacity to handle and call for a backup. The backup was on their way but the fight had no full stop. I had the look around theater and many of the audience dint even bothered to get up from their seat.

I saw a small girl age 3 to 5 which seemed related to either the 1st or 2nd guy was walking towards the fight. I was sure of thought any of the guy’s in fight will not regret to hurt each other but if this girl gets any hurt either one of them will remember it for life. Or even I would have blamed myself for not saving her. I stepped my feet little faster and holed and picked up the girl walking towards the fight. I did not have the time to think the decision I did was right or wrong but it seemed justifying at that stage.

When Security Backup arrived and all lights were on, the 2nd guy finally removed his locking elbow. The first guy was now released and able to move. He along with a lady came near me to take the little girl, and left the theater.

I went back to my seat with my wife and she shouted, what are you are hero to go there and mess with that fight? I replied, I just went there to save a baby from getting hurt, no hero skills required there.
Actually at that particular time Even I had no idea why I put my step towards the fight. And to stop a fight?? Why would I stop a fight? I infact love Fights, its the only way to remove frustrations and form new bonds (if anyone lives from that battle).

After coming home and reanalyzing the situation I could only think, that there are several hundreds of fights going around us if we like to observe. People fight for home disputes, country border, religion, cast discrimination, race belonging, political disputes and many other day to day issues. Some of the fight might be eazy to tackle and some like the last one must be hard to stop by one person alone. But if the fights are giving people a point of interaction which they didn’t do before then I should not be the person to stop this fight. May be stopping these big fights are beyond my control. Then What will be my purpose? as even I don’t want to join any sides and join the fight itself. In the short instant of pressure the decision I made may be the one’s suited for me.

I don’t have power to stop the big fights, but I did have the power to stop the new generation, the small kids, to keep them away from the fights. Prevent them from getting hurt. It was easy. Small kids requires a story to understand the most complex situation in simple words and with the help of stories, storing telling my advantage point, I can keep the new born’s away from the fight so that when they grow old enough to understand, they will have power to decide themselves to continue their old generation fights or not…

I know currently you as reader might be in any one resemblance point of my story, you might be in the fight as 1st or 2nd guy fighting for justice, you might be the guy who call’s the security, you might be a observer who dont want to get up from their seat or you might the foolish person who gets up from his seat and stop the young one from entering the battle or you might be the young one’s yourself.

What ever the role you are playing just be reminded of the statement of Sir William Shakespeare ” All the world’s is a Stage and All men and woman merely Players.”

Enjoy your role and Keep Playing it..

#tapishdogre #utsp

YOUR TEENAGE BOYFRIEND IS A HORMONE BOMB

 

A letter from a girl who has shyly signed behind a pen name flower:
“I’m in a relationship with a guy for the past seven months, we love each other a lot but… he has now imposed a condition that if I love him, I should have sex with him. I told him honestly that I am not going to do it. It is not necessary that just because we love each other immensely and madly that we have to have sex. He says he loves me, but also wants to possess me physically. Or else, he says he’ll just leave me. I can’t leave him because I love him. What do I do?”

Oh God. Oh God, what a quandary. He wants to do it, but you don’t want to do it. He says sleep with me or walk. You say I won’t sleep with you, but I won’t walk either. You are scared of his lust, while he is maddened with it.
     I know a lot of women readers might disagree with me, but I happen to side the boy’s viewpoint. The days of chivalrous platonic love are over. I doubt whether they ever existed outside fairy tales in the first place.
     Any healthy teenage boy is riddled with hormones and flush with testosterone. He doesn’t have the mindset or maturity to think of love as anything more than an opportunity to have sex.
     His girlfriend can start off a conversation about anything, but you can be sure that in few minutes he will divert it towards sex. If he doesn’t do that , then he is too old for his age and not normal.
     For teenage boys the whole point of having a girlfriend is to jump into bed with her. They get quickly bored with too much talk of love and tenderness, and get tired of just holding hands. They want to grab a girl and kiss, then hug and then…
Boys also hang out with their own groups, where they get their male bonding and thrills. Girls are meant for fun, not just for long boring walks (which they will have, for sure) or long syrupy love talk (which they will talk, as long as they feel they will one day get to have sex).
     So my young friend, please understand this. Your boyfriend was quite honest when he told you to either have sex with him or leave him. He was giving you a practical option, which expressed his sincerity. The fact that he didn’t impose himself on you so far, speaks of his decency.
     The fact that he is lusting for you implies he is just a normal healthy boy.
     The fact that he is now irritated and impatient implies that he is being driven up a wall by your firm and persistent “no”.
I am not advising you to have sex with him. Not at all. You must do what your instincts tell you. If your instincts say “don’t even think of sex”, then you must not.
     But please understand that you are walking around with a hormone bomb in your arms, a guy who is about to explode with frustration of not having sex.
     If you continue this way, you will turn him into a nut case or worse. It’s far better to let him go. Let him find someone else who will give him what he wants, and make him happy.
     You go look for a boy who is willing to just hod hands and take long walks and sigh at sunsets and smile at flowers.

Source: Deccan Chronicle (4th Sep 2011)

Author: Mani Shankar
             (The author, a film director, helping the youth strike a balance in their relationships)