I struggle myself a lot to cope with a few of the below-mentioned “Wounds” but after reading the comments under the original post, I discovered I was not alone. Indians by default live under the influence that “Parents are the Perfect Beings” and thus mosty anytime I expressed this to my classmates and colleagues, they did find a fault in me in even expressing my feelings on this subject. Then I discovered more about intergenerational trauma and the ability to cope with it. It is nice to know that even other people who have faced similar issues were able to come out of their childhood traumas and live a decent life for themselves and the next generations. One of the best lines I could read in the comment section by Markus Wilson was, “I forgive him, or should I say, I forgive myself for wanting him to be more than he could be.”
Hope I could fix the repetitive stories in my head or at least give them a proper ending. For a Better Future.
So 16th March 2022 about 00:00am I got the Google Notification that it’s “E-Baba’s Birthday”. For those of you who have not read the previous articles I wrote on E-Baba, he is my paternal Uncle having very high moral grounds in my perception.
With the notification came a moral dilemma, should I even wish him or not?
I know wishing any person on his/her birthday is a positive social activity. But to wish E-Baba there are various Caveat attached. The most prominent one was that I was somewhat angry with him myself. Don’t get me wrong, he still holds a high moral value as a perceptive being. But his clashes with his own family made him choose an action in the past where he left everyone hanging dry. His side of the story is true that he was hurt. But hurt people hurt other people, consciously or unconsciously. Thus when he had fought with his brothers and left the main house, there was no fault of us at that time, that we deserve his isolation. And for leaving me as a kid, unguided, that really made me angry.
In later years, due to good circumstances, now that he is making his efforts to re-console with his brothers and sharing happy memories of them being together, this, in turn, made me angrier. That, “all the years of anger that I had held on to, was that of no use or no worth”?
Watching this movie “The Adam Project” I was able to have another perception of myself. In a conversion in this movie, (exactly at the time of this picture above) it is expressed that we tend to be angry when we grow up, or tend to, not because we are really angry. But in fact, because we are sad. It is easier to be ‘Angry’ than to be ‘Sad’. To mourne from our pain and then to recover. Is easier to blame others and tend to relive the made-up stories than to face the hurtful truth. Since this whole month I am trying to accept my own one truth after another, so thought why not give this theory a chance too.
Instead of being angrier about E-Baba’s constantly changing actions, let’s consider him as a normal human being. A human being who makes mistakes.
And when I think it that way, I am able to think one step ahead of that where I was stuck all these years. And that is, We tend to accept the mistakes of people we love. Or in other words, we tend to ignore the mistakes of people we love and accept the person as a whole being. And whenever we are not able to accept a person as a whole, that is only because we are not able to ignore the mistakes that the person has done to us.
There again comes a choice in the present moment, when we are all alive, Not in memories but here in flesh and blood. Time for new bonds, time for new memories, time for new fights, and time for new love. I think I can get past this mental stuck and move in a new direction. Not a right or wrong direction, as no one could judge where our future lies. But at least one step ahead of our past stuck.
So somehow grabbed the number from my cousin’s sister and texted him, “Happy Birthday“
Unfortunately, this is not a complete story as it is rolling on this present timeline, thus even I don’t know where my or others’ actions will lead in the future, but till that time when my heart beats more than normal that compel me to write more about E-Baba, I can only Say it is “To Be Continued….”
See you in the next post or next life, whichever comes earlier.
Wow in the current world, movies, games, and series are uploaded and released at a time fixed and convenient TIME but in a very specific geographic TIME ZONE. This website tracks down the most popular ones down to the very last seconds.
(SKIP TO THE “5 Points List” below if you wish not to read the Intro, Point number 5 is Important.)
For the last two years, I was more focused on my studies online and I was following the pattern as suggested by the Edx or Coursera style guides. That is to give like not more than 4 to 5 hours per week, watch the video, read the material or slides and then give the end of the subject exam, pass with flying colors, show the certificate of completion and then forget all that you have learned within days of your study.
Even using the above method, I discovered that more than 70% of people who are even paid subscribers quit their learning mid of the course. At the start of the statistic learning, I felt pity for those quitters as I firmly believed that I am not one of them. I was so confident because in all my degree one on one learning, I never quit any of the courses I started. Thus it came as a shock to me when on after paying 11 months ongoing subscription to Coursera, finally I stopped my payment on Jan 2022 without completing the course I started. I literally joined the team of 70% who quit and I have my own pile of reasons why.
But I know internally I am not a quitter. There was like Cognitive Dissonance on my own belief system when my actions did not match with my own thinking. Thus I began the journey to understand the actual reason why? and for me, the answer came not in all the excuses, but in the fact of the statement, ” I am actually studying the wrong way.”
The first and foremost step will be to acknowledge and accept that online studies are way different than one-to-one or university studies. This is a simple statement and we all superficially use it, but no one goes into deep thinking of what it means to learn from these two ways of learning.
In the book, “The Social Animal” by David Brooks, the author in some lines explains that the physical touch of parents is important for a newborn and the physical presence of the teacher is important in early learning for the development of neurons. It is like monkeys see monkeys do, humans also learn the subject mimicking the nature, thoughts, and other ambiance produced in a classroom.
I won’t argue that online learning is then a no-go at all, but we do have to change or implement a few of the things which we use to do in classroom teaching.
To list a few would be:
Use carrot and stick model: Give yourself a reward which will release a positive harmones in your neurological system to associate the happiness with your studies. Also, provide yourself with a significant punishment if you fail to complete a task or studies. Though I prefer the Carrot (rewards) over the stick (punishment) but I would like to emphasise their should be a consequence of our ether actions or attitude towards our studies.
Do not sign up for Multiple Course: We might sign up as the course is cheap, or trendy and keep on adding the list as it is convinient to do so. But remeber its easy to add coursces on your bucket list or shopping kart, but it is difficult to put that course material inside your brain. It requires a lot of hardwork.
Motivation is a Myth: This comes form Ali Abdaal teachings and you can search on Youtube from the author itslef if you want to learn more about what that point is stating, “Motivation is a Myth”. But in short it means that we should never postponed our studies for a time when we are in right mood for it. It is like going to a job or movie. Fix a time, start the show, the motivation will kick in after 5 to 10 mins into your studies.
Communicate with other Learners: This is one of the big mistake I have done in the past. Remember the story of the Deaf Frog who climbed the Mountain ? I also made a video on it few years back. It says like 1000 frogs one day decided to climb the mountain, 10 quit at the start as the journey was difficult, they motivated 100 to quit as it was so cold, they motivated 500 to quit as they forgot to bring food, they motivated remaing ones to quit as the journey and idea seems impossible except one. The reason was he/she a Deaf frog. Deaf frog was not able to listen the reasons of the quitters and thus did not join the 70% club. (In this story 99% club of quitters.)
Repetition is Important: This last point is the main reason of my motivation to write this blog post. And 5 mins before I started this draft I talked with one my friend “Asad” who has recenty completed two Microsoft Asure two certification in last two months. And now I will be going against the Rule 4 mentioned above. His way of learning is (A: Exposure) to go throught the whole material of the whole course, not just one or two sub subjects, but the whole course like Binge Watching a Neflix Series. We retain only 10 to 40% of the content explained in this first run of going through the material. (B: Retention Detailing) Then 2nd time we go through the material in bit detail and slow paced. This is the time we absorb more as we already know the main storyline thus we are well aware where to focus on and where not to. (C: Memory) The 3rd run will be with slides or notes as most online cources have them, this is again a faster approach as we are aware of the content we are in a little bit kind of memorisation state at this stage. (D: Active Reacall) In the fourth or finall run of the whole material you go through the whole content of the course with pausing at each start of the heading/video/slide and asking youself “What is the authour going to say in this content?”. This is the testing phase. The fourth reading is to be done without even looking inside of the content or only go through the content if you are not able to recall what is being taugh. Remember Testing is a Part of the Learning Process. And Testing is to be done before appearing for the main End of Subject Exam.
The above 5 points, if followed with devotion will make the online journey of studies worthwhile. Ya point number 4 is a bit arguable but it also depends on what kind of personality you are. As Steve Jobs has observed and said, “A players like to stay with A players” and “B players like to stick with B”. Thus if you really want to jump from being a B player to being an A player then you do have to put in enough energy to break the threshold. And understand yourself is that journey really worth it?
I will sign off for this post with an open mind to learn further and keep recording my journey on this blog post as well as my Youtube Channel. Hope to see you in the next post, next video, or next life whichever comes earlier.
The domain name https://www.freecoursesonline.me/?1 may or may not work in the near future if/when you might be reading this article a few years down the road. This is a website to offer free copies of the paid courses available online.
Using so much paid and unpaid material to study last year, I was considering myself a borderline pirate with a quite amorphous morality. On one side I wanted to contribute to the makers of all the courses I am consuming, on the other hand, I was financially struggling myself. Thus in the future, if I make a course and you are pirating it in some way, I promise I will be able to understand and empathize with you with my full heart as today I am in that position myslef.
A Screenshot of this website looks something like this:
Now that you know about my moral ambiguity, we can continue to discuss how this website is of benefit to any person who wanted to learn or get a glimpse of the content on famous paid platforms before investing in the content.
It has a huge collection of Cources
Compressed file size for eazy download
Web/Server based application dosent work as it require a paid account
All other content including videos, books or open source content is free and accessible
Cources are well organised
You can request an upload of a course, but it dose take time to rip them and upload.
There might be many more points I can comment on but if this website or certain thing of this kind remains in the future, please do write it in the comments section below. And if you can, please do buy the paid courses to contribute to the creators.
Compleated another certificate realted to data Science. This was was step by step explainaiton of the whole procedure of a Data Science project. It showed the pattern as a whole instead of goind too much deep into how each operation is being done. In the discussion coloum of the IBM portal some students found it way too eazy, whereas the idea of working with so much data and numbers on a excell sheet in future overwelmed me a bit.
So finally I overcame my fears and compleated this bit and here is the link to flaunt on another certificate from IBM